Best Bunny Story EVER

Easter has always been a HUGE holiday for our family – its big with the Greek culture. Family gets together, the men roast a lamb on a spit outside, have a drink and talk politics, while the women do everything else. Typical. But its always a great holiday for getting family together, over some food and drink, and lots of laughs.

But there was an Easter that was anything but fun – it was very traumatic for some of us. It was around 1987 or so, and my little sister had been bugging my dad about getting a bunny. She really wanted one, and basically nagged him about it for a long time. The day before our Easter Sunday, our dad surprised us by taking us out and letting us pick out a little dwarf rabbit. It was tiny and he fit into the palm of my hand. We picked a black one and named him Zeke. We didn’t have his cage ready for him when we brought him home, because my dad was going to build him one. So we decided we would keep him in this large, very tall box, until the cage was ready.

So, fast forward to the next day, my entire family is there, plus my cousin’s family and like promised, the men are outside and the women are inside. My little sister (who’s about 7 or 8 at the time) and our cousin (he’s about 12) are downstairs playing in the family rec room. They had put ZEKE in the box so that the two of them could run around. Keep in mind this box was over 3ft. in height and this bunny was small (like 1/2 a chihuahua small) so everyone ASSUMED that the bunny couldn’t jump out of the box. So while they were running around in the basement, they didn’t realize that the bunny had jumped out of the box and was now on the carpet. What happens next is the beginning of BUNNY FIASCO ’87.

The poor little bunny jumped out of the box which was behind where my sister was standing. She took a step back and stepped directly onto the poor little bunny’s head at full force. All of a sudden, everyone hears this BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM come from the basement. The entire family runs down there to see the rabbit convulsing on the carpet, and the two of them screaming their heads off. What happened next?

• My sister tries to explain what happened.
• My mother screams that there is blood on her BEIGE carpet!
• My older sister runs to call every vet in town.
• My older brother picks up the bunny and runs him outside to drive him to a vet.
• My other older brother is screaming “MURDERER, MURDERER” to my sister who screams louder each time she hears it.
• Everyone is crying except my dad and my uncle.
• My uncle tries to comfort my sister, and says to her, “It’s not all bad news. It’s Easter – we’ll just eat it”.
• My dad looks around at everyone crying, and says,”Why are you crying? We’ll just go buy another one tomorrow”. (Keep in mind, my dad is from the old country – to him the concept of having a pet was ridiculous in itself)

Meanwhile, my brothers had already left to take the bunny to the vet. They came back and we waited for an update. What did we do during this traumatic time? We sat down and ate of course. It was the quietest meal with my family I can ever remember. My sister was still crying and upset – most of us were. Every time my little sister made eye contact with my brother, he would whisper “murderer” to her, shaking his head the entire time. I will admit – it was hysterical.

After our lunch, we got the call from the vet. He didn’t identify himself – but he kept referring to the “patient” so I assumed he meant the rabbit. He said, “I’m calling about the patient Zeke. He has suffered a concussion, but will survive his injuries. He will need to stay a couple of days and then will be released. You will need to administer an oral medication for one week, 2x day.”

We told our dad and uncle (THE MEN) what the vet said, and they thought it was hysterical, until my dad realized he would have to pay the vet. My dad could not believe that a $10 bunny was now going to cost him hundreds of dollars – he was pissed. Everyone else however was relieved that Zeke would be fine. A couple of days later, Zeke was home with a syringe and the orange liquid medicine that we had to give him twice a day. The first time, my dad held him so that his paws were in the air, while we tried to wriggle the syringe into his mouth. The rabbit, terrified, started to shoot out its rabbit poops like missiles all over the place. My mother totally freaked about the carpet – BEIGE, remember?. We could not stop laughing while my dad swore in Greek the entire time. Eventually, we wised up and repositioned the rabbit so he pooped DOWN.

Sometime during that week, I remember being in the guest living room (that living room where everything is PRISTINE and shrink-wrapped and yup, BEIGE). My mom was on the phone chatting away, while my sister and I played with the rabbit on that BEIGE carpet. Thankfully my mother was looking in the opposite direction, when Zeke decided to pee out this thick, foamy orange substance – yes – on the BEIGE carpet. My sister and I panicked to say the least. I told her to run to get something to clean the mess without my mom noticing. She brought one of my mom’s “good” towels – but who had time to quibble over details like that? My sister grabbed the bunny and ran like a crazy woman, while I cleaned it as best as I could. But, you do the math: BEIGE carpet + Orange foamy bunny butt discharge = Greek mother losing her shit.

My dad finished the bunny cage that night.

Oh, and just so you know, our beloved rabbit lived with us for 7 years and grew to be the size of a small dog. He was a beautiful, healthy rabbit who was adored by my entire family. In year 8, a farmer friend of ours told us that Zeke really needed to get some. So, with heavy hearts we let our farmer friend take Zeke to his bunny loving farm for some good bunny loving. He impregnated at least four girlie bunnies within the first week. We were so proud.

Tagged as: Easter stories, funny pet accident, pet rabbit