Meeting my man friend

Halloween weekend 1997 was when I met my man friend.

I was visiting my cousins in Toronto for the weekend. When they picked me up at the bus station, they let me know that a friend of theirs would also be at their place (Future Man Friend). I didn’t think much of it. You see, I was dating the dirty bath water dude at the time, so I was SO taken.  I walked in to their place to see my cousin playing backgammon with this blonde dude (FMF), both smoking like fiends. There was so much smoke, it looked like the apartment was on fire. I’m being dramatic – it was more like being in a dance club in Europe. Anyway, we barely spoke to each other that night – if you’ve ever seen Greeks play backgammon, you’ll know why. I didn’t think anything of FMF, other than the fact that he seemed like a nice guy. The next day we went downtown for coffee, and he met up with us again. We ended up sitting next to each other, and pretty much talked the entire time. Again, I thought he was cute, and enjoyed talking to him, but I couldn’t tell you a word we said to each other. So the weekend ended, and that was that.

Fast forward to Christmas 1998, and the whole family is at my parents’ house, when my cousin mentions that someone he knows  ”has the hots” for me. I had no idea who he was talking about. He says that since that weekend over a year ago, FMF has talked about me non-stop. He was now single and very interested in me. What the hell? Seriously? The guy had been thinking about me for over a year – I must have had some crazy superpowers back then.

The next night, a few of us went out for drinks and I ran into a friend who I’ve known for years. He comes right up to me and tells me that I have a stalker. He tells me that one of his friends in Toronto has talked about me for well over a year and really wants to get a hold of me. He takes my email and tells me he will pass it along. And yes, he too was talking about my FMF – little did I know that they knew each other, let alone worked for the same company.

A few days later, I receive this random email asking me if it was okay that he was contacting me. For a minute, I had no idea who it was. And then, I remembered – it was FMF. I couldn’t even remember what the guy looked like. I was kind of snarky in my reply, telling him that I didn’t know him, and didn’t know what he wanted. I quickly got this email back, apologizing profusely – I figured he was either a nice guy or a wet noodle. I chose to believe the former. And so began our relationship online. We chatted for weeks and decided that we wanted to meet again. I let him know that my sister, some friends and I would be in Toronto on February 5-6, (1999) to attend this huge party held by AHEPA (basically a hotel party that involves about 1000 people partying and getting trashed, all while dressed in hot party clothes).

At the hotel, my girlies and I were getting ready for the big night, while I was trying hard not to nervous puke. And then, the knock on the door – perfect timing. He showed up just as I had these huge rollers in my hair. I open the door, and thank you lord, he was as cute as I had not been able to remember. YES! He even brought us booze and cigars — he knew the way to this girl’s heart. We spent the entire party together, and much of the evening too (in a purely innocent, Dawson’s Creek kind of way). The next day we had lunch together, and decided to call it our first date – February 6, 1999. It was the best lunch that I never actually ate. I was so crazy smiley at that lunch, who could eat?

So what happened next?

February 14, 1999: He came to visit me for Valentine’s. After spending the day together, we admitted to each other that it felt like we were meant for each other (yes we were stupid sober)

February 28, 1999: He met the parents, and he smartly wore a suit. The parents were very tricked impressed.

August 26, 1999: We got engaged (yes we were crazy so in love!)

September 2, 2000: We were married in a religious ceremony in the church that I was baptized, with hundreds of people in attendence (I needed that many to block the entryway, in case he pulled a Mr. Big).

So there you have it – the story of how I met my man friend. We knew a week after we re-met, that we would be together forever (not in a Jon & Kate +8 kind of forever). And miracle of all miracles, here we are, nine years and two babes later, still together and soon to be celebrating our ninth wedding anniversary.

So what’s my secret to getting that dude to commit to becoming my forever man friend? Let me tell you:

Maria’s Tips to Snagging your desired Man Friend:

1. Quote Leonard Cohen in your emails – he will eat that shit up.
2. Tell him that you love nature, and camping and his friends. (Lying is OK when it comes to nature)
3. Make sure he knows you’re smarter than he is – no one wants to marry the dumb girl.
4. Make sure he knows you’re the boss, or Greek – either one means the same thing.
5. Don’t criticize or get rid of any of his stuff – until after you’re married. (Then proceed to throw away all his crap -seriously my guy owned a “smoking” jacket and an ascot? Well, he did anyway.)
6. Pretend you like those heart-shaped soaps he gave you as a gift. (You can wait until after the wedding, to start with the buy-me-this-exact-thing lists.)
7. Rub his neck at every opportunity, and maybe even put lip balm on his lips when he’s driving (I was young and foolish – what do you want from me!!)
8. Be nice.
9. Be sweet.
10. Be funny.

Be funny? Yes, be funny. Funny can get you through anything – especially when it comes to man friends. Believe me – I have avoided more confrontation than you could shake an unfunny stick at.

Tagged as: dating, future husband, how we met, man friend