I come from a family of five kids, and as you may or may not know, I have Greek parents. They are Greek immigrants that moved to Canada over 40 years ago, which would make me first generation Canadian. However, my mom was a stay-at-home mom, and we were raised Greek – we lived in Canada but we lived by Greek rules. My mother ruled the roost – she was strict, tough, overprotective but at the same time very loving, very funny and an amazing cook. We absolutely respected her as our mom, and never hesitated to ask for her opinion or help on anything – this is actually very much still the case. My mother is always in the loop with all her kids – whether you like it or not.
I never really noticed a difference between my mom and other moms, until I started school. Then it became very apparent that my parents were actually super strict, very very overprotective and not really open to changing their ways or ideas on anything when it came to their kids. Back then, there were times when that totally sucked – I just could not understand why I couldn’t do everything my friends did. In fact, I didn’t understand why the boys (ie. my brothers) could even do more than the girls could – my parents believed the boys could “take care of themselves”. I told you – it was old-school. Funny enough, now that I’m a mother, I understand my mom so much more. I understand that her main priority was protecting her children at any cost, even if it meant that we would miss out on certain things. As my dad would say (and still says), “Better you cry now, then I cry later” (It sounds better in Greek, and with my dad’s accent).
So how were some things different because I had a Greek mom? I’ll give you some examples. Keep in mind that these are from our earlier years – my mom became more relaxed later on.
Field Trips:
(Other kids) - “Mom, can we go on this two-day field trip that involves nature, large bodies of water, and possible wildlife?”
(Other kids’ moms) – “Sure dear! Have fun! Enjoy this experience!”
(Me) - “Ma, the school is going on an overnight trip and there will be TONS of teachers and supervisors, and I promise I won’t go near the water, or anything dangerous, and please, please, PLEASE!!”
(My mom) – “What? Are you kidding? Don’t you remember that story in the newspaper where some kid when to some park on some field trip, and he got eaten by a bear? How about that story about the kid who drowned on a field trip? NO WAY! Dream on! NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!!! (Of course, keep in mind that this is all in glorious Greek, so kick it up a decibel or two, and add hand gestures).
Sleepovers:
(Other kids) – “Mom, Jenny wants me to sleepover tonight, and her parents will be there, and we’re just going to hang out. Is that okay?”
(Other kids’ moms) - “Sure honey! Have fun!! Be polite and clean up after yourself. See you tomorrow.”
(Me) – “Ma, Can I sleepover at Jenny’s house next week? Her mom is a doctor and her dad’s a lawyer and they live in a big, clean house, and they don’t have pets, and they will be there the whole time, and I will be back really early the next day? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!
(My Mom) – (Insert hysterical laughter here – maybe a couple of snorts too) “Oh yeah? You crazy? NO WAY. She can come here if you want, but you can’t go there. NO WAY. Maybe they are killers who will lose it the day you’re sleeping over. I don’t know if the father is crazy. NO WAY.”
Skiing/Skating/Swimming or any other sports that involve your body:
(Other kids) - “Hey Mom, we are going on a ski trip/skating trip/swimming trip today. I’ve got everything I need. See ya!”
(Other kids’ moms) - “Have fun!!”
(Me) - “Mom, we are going on a (insert any of the super dangerous sports above) trip today. Even though I can’t ski, skate or swim, can I go? They will have teachers there that will help me learn and have fun, and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!”
(My Mom) – “Yeah, so that you can get cut, fall down or drown? NO WAY!!! We can go shopping instead.”
You get the picture? We couldn’t do much – I won’t even talk about school dances, parties, hanging out at the mall, etc. It was hard back then, I will admit, but I really do understand her thinking, now that I’m a mom. I understand that if by some small chance, something had happened to us on one of those trips, excursions or sleepovers and she had given us permission to be there, she would never have gotten over it. I understand it now. Its hilarious to me now – really hilarious. I’m amused by the differences, and I actually agree with some of it too, which just blows my mind.
So if you ever need advice, someone’s ass kicked, or an amazing homemade meal, find yourself a Greek mama – she’ll take care of it for you, because that’s what they do (whether you want them to or not).
{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
Hahaha! I LOVE this post, Maria! SOOO true! Soooo funny. My parents weren’t as strict… but they were pretty bad. I was invited to a party once, at this boy’s house (I had a huge crush on him, too) and my mom dropped me off, then took my sister to dance class, then came to pick me up. I was at the party for a good 20 minutes. And I was in grade 8.
I have tons more stories! Hilariious… loved reading this!
LMAO… ahh the flashbacks. Gotta love Our MAMA… u forgot to mention the whole ” Dont go to the washroom alone”..lol
I love this. I’m not Greek, but 2 of my closest friends growing up were born in the US to Greek immigrants. I LOVED going to their houses. So lively, great food, always fun. Come to think of it…they never really came to my house too often. Watching them all talk cracked me up, because even the most innocent, non-argumentative conversation always got so lively – louder and lots of flailing hands.
HAhahahahaaha! So funny and true.
Did you have any fun?
I did! I really did – my parents relaxed as we got older. It was mostly public school really.
So here’s my question….What will YOU do when your little ones want to do any of these things?
Being a mom is a tough business.
My mom’s thing was to respond in the negative to any request…then concede after a couple of hours. And the funny part? I never, ever caught on and just let it go when she said no – I had a total fit each and every time. Maybe I’m not the brightest star in the sky?….nah – we both know I’m a genius. ; )
Great post!
This post made me laugh so hard! I even showed my husband and we were jusst cracking up! It is so true. Our parents were strict, but I too get it now with my own child. Our parents wanted the ebst for us, but they sure had a funny way of showing it! There was never a dull moment in our Greek family!
Isn’t it great how being a parent gives a whole new perspective on your own parents? I have learned so much about how I grew up just by being a parent myself.
My parents weren’t overly strict, but they were a bit overprotective at times. But then again, we lived in BFE, so it’s not like I was going to get into much.
Now that we are moms, funny how things that didn’t make sense back then suddenly make sense now, right?
I had the exact opposite situation: My father came on all my school field trips and he ENCOURAGED us to cause all chaos on our school outings. I dove into a marsh after a frog and he roared with delight and the freedom of a child.
He is a funny guy and always made me feel inspired.
Thanks for another funny and heartwarming story. Thanks to your Greek Mommy, you lived to tell the tale.
It’s funny because my husband and I have a very different situation. We were hooligans as teenagers. And when I say hooligans I mean shit-storming kids getting into any and all trouble we could find anywhere. Our parents were either distracted or lenient or SOMETHING, because we got away with it all. Well, almost. Let’s just say we got away with the big stuff. And now we are on the other side. We have three boys who will someday be right where we were – raging hormones and all. The difference will be that our boys won’t be getting away with it all. We like discipline and order and freedom with limits. It’s gonna be interesting how that all shakes out when they are TRYING to steal the car, sneak out of the house, sneak a girl IN the house, drink, smoke…. OMG they are really going to do all that someday aren’t they? Shoot!
I love it! That was a great tribute to your Mom!
LOVE this post! What a wonderful tribute. You make me want to write up a post about my mom, too. What is it about mothers and daughters? It’s this love/hate thing. VERY strong emotions, right. It’s funny how having kids changes everything! On the one hand I feel protective of Oscar, but on the other hand I don’t want to raise him with the same fears I was raised with.
I always thought that my parents were so cool and laid back. Now I KNOW they were!
My parents were strict and tough, but they were (and are) still cool – it was just a different kind of cool. Besides, I’ll take funny over cool any day.
My mom was for sure one of those “other” moms. She let me do whatever I wanted (obviously, with some limitations). She trusted me a lot. I never gave her a reason not to. But for some reason, I feel like my parenting will totally lean towards that of your mother.
I didn’t know you were Greek. Cool! Do you make Greek food often? I had a friend when I was younger who is Greek and her mom was so strict. She could rarely hang out with us. Her mom would have to call ALL of our parents to confirm our plans. I could never understand it.
Now she’s a mom and moved to Florida. She lives on the same street as her parents and her mom is still protective. Of her and her grandson.
I’m turning into my mom in more ways than I care to admit. lol
Great post Maria.
Haha. Too funny. I can’t imagine what it must have been like – though I’m sure you probably thought it sucked at the time. My parents were kind of strict, kind of laid back. And then I turned into the rebellious teen that snuck out her window at midnight. I wonder what you’ll be like when your kids want to go on field trips and things? Do you think you’ll be more lenient than your parents were?
OMG! That was hysterical!! Sorry you were so deprived…I mean really you would have been ruined if the outside world had any influence on your childhood/teen years!! It’s all good though, my folks were strict as well…and not Greek.
Well, I didn’t marry a Greek mama, I married an Italian mama….pretty much the same….poor, rather lucky lil boo mangia! mangia!
Thanks for the late night evening chuckle, even though it was at your expense…sorry….Cheers!
Peas Out!
~daddy b
So are you going to be the same, or a little bit of both worlds?
So true and SO funny! I’m first generation Greek American and my parents obviously followed the same rule book as yours. I resented them while I was growing up but find myself doing the same things to my children.
I Never was allowed to sleep at a sleepover, I would have to come home sometime that evening and miss all the fun. My mother’s explanation, “you have your own bed and that is where you sleep”.
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