My 5 year old son has mentioned a couple times now about this older kid in Grade 3 who is constantly picking on him at school. At first it began as teasing – he would tell my son that he couldn’t run fast, and was so slow, etc. Which is really no big deal I suppose, and these things happen, so I told my son as much. Then, my son told me that a kid hit him on the back at recess and it was on purpose and that it really hurt him. When I asked him who it was, he refused to tell me at first. Then this weekend, he told me that an older kid has been pushing him against the fence and being mean to him. He also told me that he was scared of this boy, and that I needed to talk to his mom. When I pushed him further, he finally admitted that its been the same boy doing all of this, which he had not admitted up to this point. He also just told me who the boy is because he wants me to get him to stop.
When I asked him why he hadn’t told me the kid’s name up to this point, he told me it was because he likes “the bully’s” little sister, and doesn’t want to get her in trouble. I feel really bad about this whole situation because I know this kid’s mom, and she’s very nice and with four kids, she has her hands full. However, the minute someone messes with my kids, I can’t stand back and do nothing. The minute he said he was scared, it broke my heart. Now I know in this day and age, you can’t “do” or say anything to someone else’s kid, but I am so angry about the entire situation, I wish I could.
My son is five. FIVE. This may be naive to say, but why does this sort of thing even have to happen. He’s still a baby, and already feeling scared by an older kid at school. It is just unfair that he has to even deal with this. Its unfair that I have to deal with this.
This is the kind of thing that you really don’t think about when you’re having babies and becoming a mother. You think about the joys and the gifts about motherhood. You don’t think about having to deal with bullies and your child being scared at the age of 5. This is one of those stressful situations that I wish no mom had to deal with. And I know that this is not really a “big deal” in terms of bullying, I guess there are much worse. But to my young son, it is a big deal. To my son, this kid is scary and mean and physical with him and that’s more than enough for me to act.
I would love any advice you may have on how to deal with the situation, both with my son and with this kid and his mother. What would you do and how would you deal with the situation? Any kids books that you could suggest that I might pick up to read with my son, I would also appreciate. Thanks so much.
UPDATE #1:
After really thinking about my options, reading all your comments, and talking with my husband, I decided that my first step would be to approach the mom personally. My son and her younger daughter were in the same class last year (she was in JK, while Nicholas was in SK), so we would see each other daily and we spoke daily. I thought it would probably be my best option, because I knew her, but also because I would hope for the same consideration if it were reversed. I approached her alone, and told her the situation. I was non-confrontational, polite, friendly – my usual self with her to be honest. She was SHOCKED. She couldn’t believe it. She kept asking me if I had the right kid, because there are many kids with his name, being a very common name. She kept saying his full name, as a question to me. I told her that I would never have approached her if I didn’t know that it was her son 100%. She asked for exact details of how many times it happened and what was said and done. I told her what she wanted to know, and she said that she would have a VERY SERIOUS discussion with her son that evening. That was Tuesday.
I saw her from my car as I was parking on Wednesday. In fact, she walked right by the car. I’m not sure, but it seemed like she was avoiding me, although I hope I’m wrong. I’m not at that school today, since my little guy is not feeling great, but I will see what happens tomorrow.
I don’t regret approaching her first – I think it was the right thing to do for this situation. I’m waiting to see how this plays out. If it happens again, as I told the mom, I will be forced to talk to the teacher and/or principal. Because no matter how I feel about this mom, my son comes first, period.
{ 47 comments… read them below or add one }
I dealt with a similar issue with my son who is younger and just started preschool. I actually witnessed it when I arrived early with my daughter. The issue has since resolved itself. But I stressed for a awhile about what to do. I would bring it to the attention of the teachers. Its happening during recess so someone should be watching. I would start there because than you won’t have to have the wierd mom to mom moment. I had many talk swith my son about who is in charge and who can tell you what your allowed to do. So even though it breaks our heart it a teaching moment and since they are boys this may be the start of many teaching moments. I wish you luck and hope for a swift resolution.
Most schools nowadays have a policy regarding bullying. You need details: dates, places, times, who did what, etc as best your child can recall. Document all of it. Send an email or go to the school with your information and ask that they step in and enforce their policy. Sometimes they will have you meet with the other child’s parents, sometimes not, but have the school involved since it happens there and they should be prepared to deal with it. You can usually find the school’s policy on bullying (and most are no-tolerance) on the school or district website. Quote it to them if you must. If the school doesn’t step in, you can always take it to the Superintendent or School Board or state board of education, but it rarely needs to go that far. Usually just having all the facts and asking is all it takes. It also keeps you from being the bad guy with the other parents. Be sure to document and report any retaliation by the bully and make clear to your child what you expect and how to deal with the situations such as not responding to the bully, not hitting back, etc. to make it very clear who is in the wrong.
Been through this a lot with my autistic boy. Best of luck and feel free to DM me on Twitter if needed. {hugs} to you and your son.
I would go to the school first and see where thry stand on it and advise them (don’t ask ADVISE) them you want a joint conference with the other students parent(s). Then I would speak to your sons teacher to be watching for behavior changes in yous son after recess and breaks to log them for you in a notebook and send the book home everyday. This way you have proof of the changes in your sons behavoir along with his assertion of the bullying. If the school reduses to cooperate, go to the security divivion of your school board and advise them your son is being ASSAULTED! Don’t say bullied because they don’t take it serious enough. If you get no satisfaction from there go to the police. This is physical assault hands down. If adults did it there would be police involved? Our kids should be no different! I would guess the little b@st@rd is pulling the same sh!t at home on his siblings and someone has to step into the gap for his victims and put a stop to it.
Found this blog post through twitter.
Back when I was a kid (early 70′s) my dad would of just told me to punch him right in the nose. I might lose the fight but chances were pretty good I would earn the respect from the other kids and the one I punched that the bullying would stop. It worked too, I was one of the smallest kids in school and got picked on up until that point. Alas that is no longer really a viable option (although it could be used as a very last resort).
I would personally talk to the mother, it’s going to be a sensitive subject no matter how you bring it up. Put yourself in her position before the conversation and it might give you a better way to bring it up. Try to figure out a way to deal with it between the two of you without the children getting involved first. The other mother might just be able to steer her young bully in the right direction and stop him from doing this again.
If that doesn’t work then it would have to come to a sit down with all parties involved in order for it to be resolved.
I feel for you, I have two young children and I hate even seeing other kids ignoring them. It can bring up terrible memories of childhood that stay with you forever (or maybe I just have a really good memory, don’t know).
If all else fails though, teach your son to stand up for himself – it’s part of growing up and he will absolutely have to learn it eventually anyway (although 5 is young).
Good luck.
BoredMommy,,this is a serious situation your son is in. I was a member of the Parent Advisory Group and President for many years at the elementary my girls attended. Bullying is an issue which I believe the only one whom can stop it is the person being bullied but,,
First of all you must tell his teacher and the principal at the school, they will watch for any bullying and will also alert other supervisors at the school to watch. Do not talk to the bullys parents,,that usually doesn’t come out too good, let the principal at the school talk to the bullys parents.
Make sure your son knows none of this is his fault, and your behind him totally.
My middle daughter was bullied in gr 4 by another gr 4 girl and I must tell you we watched and we talked, the bully always made sure no one was around to see,and the only thing that stopped it was my daughter. She finally stood up to the other girl, the other girl punched her one day in the cheek, my daughter punched her right back and then got in her face and told her off. What happened next blew my mind,,the school phoned me and told me they had to suspend both girls for hitting each other. Yes after everything my daughter had been through they tried to suspend her,,So remember this, the other person hitting first is always the one in the wrong and if your son hits back he is doing nothing wrong, just protecting himself which is his god given right in this Country and no school policy can over ride that, I pointed that out to the principal and they could not suspend my daughter.
Now I don’t like violence but we all knew it was the only way it would stop ,,and it did. I did totally tell my daughter that she was a very nice person and had a good heart which was great but I knew she was the only one whom was going to be able to stop the bullying and that she had to retaliate by hitting her back and standing up for herself. Yes I told my daughter to hit the other girl but I also told her to make darn sure the other girl hit her first,,,She trusted me and did it,,and the bulling stopped..
Good Luck, as a mother I know what your going through, my daughter used to come home from school crying every day, cause the bullying when a lot further to the point my daughter didn’t have any friends cause the bully told other kids not to play with her, cause if they did she would bully them too…
Take Care and I really hope this situation gets under control soon,,cause it hurts.
I just dealt with a similar issue last week with my 6yr old son. He has had a few incidents with a girl (yes girl!!) in his class and I happened to be at the school for the latest incident (she bit him!). I spoke with the principal, who had gotten involved in this latest incident and told her what had been happening. She and my sons teacher are going to figure out why she seems to be picking on so many kids (seems her behaviour has them worried that there may be a problem at home and she is having a hard dealing with it and taking her feeling out on her classmates!). And I’m going to follow up and keep on top of the situation.
No kid should have to go through this and it was the one thing I was most worried about when my son started Grade 1 and stayed at school all day. It bothers me that we can’t protect them from these bullies, especially this young, but hopefully by getting the right people involved, we can get it to stop.
I feel for what you are going through with your son and hope that you can find a solution to quickly resolve the problem.
If you know the mom, why not start with giving her a shout and talking about what’s going on? Give her a chance to fix things. If that doesn’t resolve it, then take it to the school.
What ever you do, nip it in the bud now otherwise you’re risking your son becoming a bully himself as a defense mechanism
I would speak to the teacher and/or administrator at the school. It is their job to keep your son safe while he is at school and also their place to speak to the parents of other children who are not respecting other kids at school. Certainly if you are friends with the other mother you could mention it to her as well, but I would definitely raise it to the school. They need to be aware. They need to make it stop.
This IS a big deal! I am so infuriated that your son is going through this. I am a teacher And I have a 5 year old son so I sympathize with you. I think that you should immediately have a conference with your son’s teacher to alert her of what’s happening. She may have no clue how serious this is. After conferring with the teacher, you should write a note to the principal about it letting him/her know that you’ve spoken with your son’s teacher and you’d like the principal to talk to the bully’s teacher. Again, the teachers may have no clue what is happening. If that doesn’t help, then you need to speak to bully’s mom. I hope all goes well. Under no circumstances should a child have to go through this. Let us know what happens!
This is a big deal. I have a daughter in preschool, and I’m so not ready for this type of thing. I think cindylee’s and everyone else who says the school is the place to start make sense. Good luck, I hope the bullying stops.
My DD had trouble in JK when another girl wouldn’t let her join in group activities and was quietly hostile. I left a note for the teacher and she dealt with the bullying with the whole class. In this way, the bully wasn’t singled out at first (but would have been eventually) and the teacher could get the message out to all that certain behaviour isn’t acceptable. The single discussion worked and all was well.
Since then, I ask DD about interactions with her peers more and we also talk about how she needs to be a “stand by-er” (supportive) if she sees someone else being bullied rather than simply a by-stander. I decided that not only do I not want her to be a victim but also an advocate.
Good luck to you. Conflict is tough, even just asking for help can be difficult.
I’m glad to see the advice about being a stand-by-er. I am going to make sure and go over this with my big kids (stepkids) when they’re back in town. It doesn’t solve the problem of being bullied yourself, but it does instill a sense of community and supportiveness among those being bullied, and they’re more likely to reciprocate.
You really need to call and let his teacher/principal know. The teacher can then have whoever is supervising the playground watch for the bullying and the kid will get caught on his own. You really need to make the school aware of it so they can help and you are not in the middle. I am sure he is picking on more than just your child too. Good luck.
I wish I had some advice for you, but I haven’t had to deal with this yet. I do think that you need to do what feels right for you and your son. This is a big deal. If it makes more sense to start with the mom, then do that. If it would be easier to go to the school, do that.
You are your child’s biggest advocate. This is about protecting him and his well-being – not protecting the bully’s mother from what her son is doing. The truth will hurt (no mother wants to hear her kid is hurting others), but it just might help her uncover the reason why her son is bullying.
my son attends an all boys school, i have accepted when we decided to enroll him in this school that boys tend to play rough. but when my son gets hurt purposely already, i cannot accept that. what i usually do is i remind my son to say “stop it!” when someone is hurting him, purposely or not. i want my son to learn how to “fight his own battles” since i can’t always be with him especially when he’s in school.
i did write a letter to the school admin once and another time i talked to the bully because i got sooo mad already
Found this post through fellow twit @pauserefresh . All previous comments are great. It breaks my heart that your sweet 5 YO is having to go through such a life lesson at his age. My youngest daughter was victim to verbal bullying when she started a new school. She overcame it all, but today it still affects the relationship I have with the girl’s mom whose daughter did the bullying. I hope you get this resolved swiftly without much more heartache.
I agree with Princess Jenn & Midwest Mommy. You need to talk to the mom or the teacher. They will work it out and just keep supporting him
What a horrible thing for a 5 year old to have to go through. Kids are vicious, mean, hateful and at times I feel they can be dangerous to other kids if not stopped. Since it’s happening in school I would go to the Principle, explain what is happening and insist on having a sit down with the Mom and her son. Let them know that you will not tolerate your son being hit, bullied and scared. I feel for the other Mom, but she needs to step up, I don’t care how much crap she’s dealing with right now. Kids/family come first.
Good luck and I hope things work out.
Maria,
Breaks my heart as a mother just reading your posting. I think the benifit you have is that he’s only 5, where interfering may not cause more teasing and ridicule (pressures of being cool may not have set in yet).
His mother, the mom of 4 – although she has her hands full would probably be mortified to hear about how her bully son is treating your 5 year old.
My children 3 & 19 months, hopefully are far, far off from the situation you find yourself in. I dread the day my child is sad because someone was mean to him or her. I remember only to clearly how it felt to have someone say mean things.. it can stay with you for a long time.
I wish you luck and hope that this menace stops picking on your precious baby.
Tara
Oh my God… if this happens to my children, I will be one very pissed off mommy. I’m so sorry for your little boy, Maria… that is just horrible to have to experience bullying, especially at such a young age. Your little darling boy! I would absolutely go into that school and speak to the teacher and principle. Just do it… they better do something to fix this situation. Maybe make whoever is on yard duty aware and make sure he/she is looking after your son a little more carefully at least until this bully boy stops? I would also probably try to speak to the other child, as horrible and wrong as that is. And even though I’d love to say: “Hey you little punk, don’t you ever touch my son again or you’ll be in serious trouble and I mean business!” I’d say, well something that sounds like that, only nicer. And if you know the mom, despite the fact that she’s busy with four kids, I’d tell her, too. When it comes to your child, who cares what others think! Good luck…
Oh Maria, this is so hard. I agree with many of your comments that you should go to the principle of the school first. All Schools in Ontario follows the Safe Schools system (it should be on your school boards web site) and they are very experienced in how to deal with this stuff. Hugs.
I’m probably repeating what others have said (haven’t read the comments), but you need to talk to the teacher. I would request a meeting with the teacher and talk to her first, and then maybe follow up with a meeting with the teacher and the other mom. Give your son the power to tell a teacher when something goes wrong, and show him that you believe him and are doing what you can to make it stop. But do try to help him realize he can be a part of making things right by going to an authority figure. Bullying sucks, whether your child is the one being bullied or the one doing the bullying, and talking about it and confronting it head on has got to be the first step to a solution.
Pay a 6th grader $50 to bully the 5th grader. It’ll make him think twice.
I would talk to the teacher or principal before the child’s mom. They take bullying seriously, and if it happens at school, it’s their job to deal with it and work with the other parent.
[quote]Katie@DomesticDebacle permalink
Pay a 6th grader $50 to bully the 5th grader. It’ll make him think twice.[/quote]
That is a good one but parents then would get in trouble,,,
OK to back up my reasoning for not talking to other boys parents is from my own experience,, ps,,not all parents of kids that bully are like this,,but most times,,if a child is bullying someone,,this child gets his bullying ideas somewhere,,most often right at home,,
So from my experience,,,it really is not a good idea to talk to the other boys parents at all , either on your own or with the principal or teacher.
Invite him over to play! Seriously! You said his mom has her hands full…maybe he doesn’t get the positive attention he needs. Maybe he realizes that your son “likes” his little sister, and he feels threatened or grossed out by that. I think some fun time together with you supervising would probably solve the problem. If the bullying continues after that, THEN definitely talk to his parents and/or the principal at school.
I know your heart is in the right place in suggesting to invite him over to play, but as someone who was bullied severely in elementary and high school, I would highly recommend against it. I would have been mortified if my mom had invited any of the bullies over to my house. My house was a safe place. A place where I could be me without having to worry about those idiots. Inviting one of them over would only have given them more opportunities to find things to pick on me for.
Actually, I was bullied in elementary school too. It’s more than my heart being in the right place, it’s information I heard from an expert, and it worked (and actually it was the bullied kid’s idea!). I thought it was tremendously creative, and that’s why I shared.
I respect your opinion (although you come across as very condescending), but I think if her son was involved in the decision to do this, then it could benefit both of them. If her son is too scared or unwilling to do it, then obviously it won’t work. I didn’t mean to imply that she should surprise her son by inviting this kid over. If nothing else, it would give her the opportunity to see what kind of kid she is dealing with before taking whatever other steps may be necessary.
I didn’t intend to sound condescending Jennifer. I was trying to find a nice way to say that I disagree and to explain why. I apologize if it came across wrong.
I’m so surprised that those ages have recess together! I have dealt with this situation and it never seems to go anywhere when I call the other mother, “Not MY Johnny!”
The thing that worked the best for me, was to go directly to the school and have the guidance counselor schedule a meeting with both kids. Next, was both kids and both parents. It was resolved lickety split.
I’ve dealt with this before when Son No. 1 was being bullied. I would talk to the mother first before going to the school or adminstrators. The mother needs to know and also has a right to know what her child is doing – if the roles were reversed, you would want the same consideration. Bring it up matter of factly and go straight to the point. Give as much detail as you can. When you’ve finished, give her a chance to speak to find out where she’s at. If she’s genuinely concerned and wants to work with you – the two of you need to figure out a game plan. i.e. She will speak with her son and let him know it’s not okay and that he needs to apologize.
Then I would let her know that if it does happen again, your next course of action is to speak to the school. This was you’re giving her an opportunity to teach her child what he’s doing is wrong and to fix the situation – BUT if it doesn’t get fixed, she knows what the next level is.
Bored Mommy,
When we were kids, they thought bullying was a developmental thing or rite of passage. Today, we know that it is a much more insidious thing and it behooves you, your child and the bully to deal with it immediately.
First, any comment sayi8ng you had better tell the school is right on the money. No amount of bullying is tolerable. Teasing today is the hazing tomorrow. A punch in the back today could be a a concussion tomorrow. I am not trying to scare you but as a mental health professional, I have seen it.
Go to the school and tell the administration. Tell them that you expect an email from them later on that afternoon with the step they have taken to take care of your child while he is with them. If they hem or haw about it, have a conniption. They have to respond to this.
If you haven’t heard or seen anything about bullying at the school, they may have a policy they are not enforcing. Teachers are supposed to be in-serviced on the topic and school admins are supposed to take this very seriously.
Good luck, Lee
Since you have a relationship with the mother, I’d probably go there. I really don’t think bullies can be stopped if the parents of the bully don’t do something about it. Teachers and school officials can punish him, but I bet that he’d bully again because he was so angry about getting in trouble.
I can only imagine how it feels to think that your child is on the cusp of losing his innocence!
My sister is a teacher in Rhode Island and she has been telling me how she is increasingly speaking with parents who fear bullying. It frustrates her because she can’t be all eyes on one specific child nor can she fill the role of the other parent. As others have said, I would turn to the mother AND father of the child.
Don’t overthink whether its right or wrong. There’s already wrong happening to your child, so you cannot waste time being political.
Don’t you wish you could put them back inside sometimes…?
This happened with our son when he was in grade 1. I wanted to avoid a “he said/she said” finger-pointing fiasco, so I kept calm and followed the school’s policy. I spoke personally to the principal and the two boys’ shared teachers giving them the information my son had given me, and voicing my concern. The school was great – they have a mediation program which puts the bully and bullied together for dialogue, with guidance from the teachers. They ended up playing together, and came away with conflict resolution skills enhanced.
Let us know how it goes!
Luckily I dont have to deal with this situation yet. But I do have a feeling it is going to happen to my son when he goes to school. He is very small and shy and I am already trying to get him ready for bullies by trying to make him stand up for himself. He is trying it out on his friends who sometimes bully him now already (he is 4). I am trying to get him to holdout his hand and say STOP, I dont like that, or you dont hurt friends. My 2yo has got the hang of it, ha! It would absolutely break my heart if he would be in your boys situation.
I think it is a serious matter. I was bullied for most of my school years and have changed because of it. My parents never did anything about it as they thought it was part of growing up! It made me a withdrawn person, extremely shy and hate people coming into my personal space. I have very little memories from all of my school years, which is really sad.
I really liked the idea of trying to get the kids to play together. They are still young enough to be able to do that I recon and forget all about it and see that they can be friends.
I feel for you and your boy, and I wish you good luck with this situation.
My DD came home complaining that this girl at her table kept putting her feet/legs on her. She was so distraught over it my immediate reaction was to tt the teacher. BUT, first I asked her if she had TOLD the girl to stop and that it was bothering her. She sheepishly looked up and me and said “no”. I told her that the next time she did it to TELL her “Don’t put your feet/legs on me, I don’t like it and it bothers me.”
She came home the next day and I asked her if she told the girl to stop & she said “yes”, I said “well, what did she say?”……..DD = “She said OK” & stopped.
I don’t know if your son has asked the boy to stop yet but sometimes if they are too shy (like my DD), they just take it because they feel like they have to. Ask him if he has told the boy to stop. If he has, then I’d take it to the teacher. Best of luck.
Yes, unfortunately welcome to school. Bullying is terrible everywhere, some schools have a better grip on it than others. If you know the Mom well I would be tempted to speak with her. Otherwise I will tell you what the LABC ladies here tell everyone.. Document everything. Times dates, names etc. We had this happen with my daughter much younger when kids – a group of girls – were being nasty and my daughter was coming home from school exploding – calm girl normally – eventually we discovered what was happening and I told the teacher. She was then the one who called the parents and etc. My daughter as she grows has more skills to handle these things but it is everywhere. One time last year a girl called her and left this message on our answering machine (they were both seven and I really liked the girl and girl’s mom. I even sat on PTA with her.) and the message was like taunting “I want to tell you all the reasons why nobody wants to play with you. But I like you. I just want you to know that X and Y and Z won’t play with you because they hate this and that.” I went to the teacher and the principal because I couldn’t in that case speak to the Mom it would have been way to confrontational.
Anyways sad but true. I sometimes tell my daughter now we have to find ways to protect you just like when you get a scrape on your knee. “You need to wear a bandage at school sort of to protect your emotions.” Because the girls they bully differently than the boys and they are very skilled at finding the weak spot. Good luck
I haven’t been there myself, (My dd is 4, and just started school) but I cringe at the thought of having to deal with it.
So, this is all hypothetical, but I think I would start by going to the school. Schedule a meeting with the teacher and the admin. Tell them, this is an ongoing problem, and I want it resolved yesterday.
I liked the suggestion on a joint conference with the other parents, too.
Oh Maria, I have the biggest lump in my throat and huge, huge tears welled up in my eyes. I have no idea what to say for advice, not there yet, but this is one of my biggest fears for my children. Please keep writing about this, what you do, what happens so that people like me can get guidance from you. Honey I’m sending you a huge hug!!
I haven’t had to deal with this yet with my kiddo since she’s only 6 months old
But I agree with the other commenters – Get the teacher involved. I was bullied in elementary school and I told my teacher. This little fucker was poking me in the arm with a pencil and I knew that I didn’t have to take it so I told my teacher and she moved me away from him. Was he punished? Maybe not, but I was removed from that situation which is just as important. Good luck mama.
Oh no, Maria! I am SO sorry to hear you and your son are going through this. In fact, I DREAD the day that I’ll have to go through the same thing with my boy. Because in this day and age, bullying is pretty much a given.
I haven’t read any of the previous comments, but I bet that if you approach the mother in a totally non-accusatory way — which of course, you would — and appeal to her mom-to-mom, she’ll understand. Unfortunately, you can’t control how she disciplines her son, or how he’ll respond to it. But if she’s as nice as you say, how can her heart not break a little bit about the situation, you know?
I’m so sorry to hear this. Best of luck, and I hope the problem is resolved quickly. Let us know how it goes.
Good Morning ALL!
Animal Planet “Underdog to Wonderdog” is doing an episode on child Bulling. We are looking for families who deal with their child being bullied everyday in school. Please feel free to check our website at http://www.sharpetertainment.com or email me at keciabenson@yahoo.com for more information. We are looking for families in the NY/NJ area.
My son has self-esteem the size of an elephant, and I am not sure if he would personally be a victim of bullying, but he has told me of a girl in his class, she’s 5 getting bullied by a third grade BOY. My son knows all the details, so clearly he has witnessed it. He asked me what to do about it, he thinks he should tell the guy to stop bullying his friend and that all the grade one boys should gather together to circle this 3rd grader in the school yard to show they mean business. I suggested that he talk to his teacher, and if his friend is afraid to name names, to the teacher at least he has the name and can tell. It’s so hard, and so heart breaking. What I want to do is go to the school and kick that third grade kid in the shins and ask how HE likes to be bullied. Alas, it’s not my battle to fight.
My daughter in 4th grade is telling stories of cliques in her class and the girls being catty with one another. I feel so sad for her when she thinks she is “on the outside”, but I told her at the end of the day staying neutral and friends with all the cliques (I am sure I am spelling this wrong) is the better option, but she really wants to BELONG to one of the groups.
This is the hardest part of being a Mom, I can deal with 6 a.m. hockey practice, or homework, or snotty noses, but emotional hurt is so gut wrenching.
Sorry, I’m babbling
Re: Your Update #1. You are a very brave woman to have gone that route. And I am sure you did the right thing. I hope things improve.
wow unbelievable that a 5year old would have to go through that .. It scares me so much that my daughters might have to go through that. You did the right thing by going to the mother. I’m waiting for your next update hoping the mother is not avoiding you
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