This is a picture of my husband and his brother as young children. Two years apart, they were inseparable as kids. As adults, they grew to be very different. My husband is talkative and social and basically, what you see is what you get. His brother was more reserved, quiet. He also seemed to have alot of inner turmoil. Only years later, would we understand just how much he suffered internally and alone. Six years ago this month, five weeks before I gave birth to my first child, we lost Peter. He wrote a note, left it in his truck and walked in front of an uncoming VIA passenger train. The conductor told the family that he walked toward the train and as the train got closer, he turned and walked in the opposite direction, so he wouldn’t see the train hit him. The desperation he must have felt at that moment in his life, thinking that this was his only option, is heartbreaking to me.
I still can’t believe it happened, six years later.
I think about him all the time.
May he rest, in peace.
{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }
What a sad story
my heart goes out to your family.
Oh my God. Maria. I am so very sorry. For your husband to lose his brother in that way…unspeakable horror. I am so sorry. That is tragic and just the saddest thing. I don’t know what else to say but… sorry. God bless him and his entire family…
my love to your family today.
I’m really sorry about your loss. Its scary when someone suffers all by them selves like that. We don’t notice. Im my family, I have members who suffer from metal illness. They have also come to very low places in their lives – but they reached out and we got them the help that they needed when they contemplated taking their own lives.
May he rest in peace.
My heart goes out to you. I cannot even imagine.
that picture just made me cry… so sad!
So very sorry for your loss… what a sad day for your family.
tears- Love and thoughts for your whole family
What a sad and devastating loss, just unbelievable. I’m so very sorry for your husband and your whole family. And that picture is just adorable, absolutely priceless.
That’s really sad. Losing someone to suicide is a wound that never really heals. Thank you for sharing this poignant and beautifully written story.
many prayers
This story is a little closer to my heart than I can even divulge. But I understand. And oh the heartache. And with it the mystery. And the angst. Of never really knowing why?!
Peace and love to you.
I don’t know what to say about this. How awful. I hope your whole family is able to cope and find peace. So sorry…
Oh, Maria…. So sorry for your loss….
I’m so sorry Maria. The pain he suffered and now the pain your family suffers…it’s terrible.
You are a good wife to make this memorial. Seems your husband has a wonderful support.
I’m so, so very sorry to read this. It just breaks my heart for your husband and the whole family.
We had a similar situation with one of my husband’s brothers several years ago. Fortunately he was not successful in his attempt and has gotten some help.
Prayers and hugs for you…
my thoughts are with you, very sad
I’m sorry for your family’s loss.
I am so very sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you guys today and always. ((hugs))
I love you lady. I am so very, very sorry.
Tragic. I’m so sorry…
How did your husband get through it? One of my good friend’s younger brother just ended his life about a week ago and she is a mess. I have no words of consolation for her.
very sad=(
Oh Maria, how sad, for everyone. ((Hugs))
Take Care Maria. I sort of understand what a difficult time this is. My sister-in-laws husband took his life 12 years ago. He left behind a 5 and 3 year old, and his adoring wife as well. I don’t think any of us has ever gotten over it.
So sorry. I have two sons and cannot imagine one of them enduring life without the other. Hugs to your family.
That’s just tragic and so terribly sad that he felt that tortured.
A difficult anniversary, for sure. Such terribly sad circumstances.
This picture looks so much like the childhood pictures of my husband and his brother. I know he would be devastated to lose his sibling, and can’t imagine how your husband has been feeling these past five years. I am so sorry, Maria. My heart goes out to you and your family.
What a horrible tragedy. Thank you for sharing this with us. Thinking of you and your husband…
Wow Maria. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry and I can tell you I know just how you feel. My husband’s brother killed himself by gunshot 5 years ago on October 4th. I too struggle with believing he’s gone and the way he left at just 35. It changed my husband too, horribly. For a while there I thought I’d never get my husband back. Suicide really sucks so much out of you.
Love to you and your husband. I know how hard the anniversaries are. xo.
{ 1 trackback }