I don’t understand leg warmers.
I don’t understand non-alcoholic beer (what the hell is the point?)
I don’t understand how I can put 6 pairs of socks in the washing machine, but pull only 4.5 pairs out.
I don’t understand how a show like Toddlers & Tiaras can even exist. (I mean, seriously how do the people who work on that show stomach what they do to those poor babies.)
I don’t understand tofu.
I don’t understand why my kids always get sick the minute my husband leaves on a business trip.
I don’t understand how young kids can be so cruel.
I don’t understand why pasta can’t fit happily in the vegetable column. It really is an outrage.
I don’t understand why STARBUCKS doesn’t deliver!!!
I don’t understand why I NEVER went away on a girls weekend before I had babies.
I don’t understand why some people will do anything for money and/or fame.
I don’t understand the need to be a pathological liar.
I don’t understand why the moms at my son’s school aren’t as cool my girlies on Twitter.
I don’t understand skinny jeans. (Seriously people, you need some air down there!)
I don’t understand why I’m still wiping five year old butt on a daily basis.
I don’t understand why Colin Firth has yet to realize that we are supposed to be TOGETHER.
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What I do understand? This list would go on forever if I didn’t have laundry to do.
{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }
i love this post. socks…totally. tofu…i kinda like. pasta…should TOTALLY be a veggie and a fruit.
and wiping a 5y/o butt…i am SO DOING THAT TOO!! why????
I understand!
“I don’t understand why I NEVER went away on a girls weekend before I had babies.” If ONLY I did this… I sooo need it now!!!
Have to hand it to you..you got most of the OBVIOUS ones. LOL. Tofu.. I’ll need to find a page to explain to you. Thanks for the list. I like YOURS the best. Sorry twitter.
Yeah, I third the whole wiping 5yo butt thing. And yeah, the non-alcoholic beer… if I have to taste sludge, I should have some sort of reward!
I hear ya. Except, I don’t understand why you don’t like skinny jeans!
I’m totally with you on that second to last one. Oh and 1,2,and 3 also…
And tofu, yuck.
I can’t wait for the day that the only poop I’m in charge of is my own!!!
I’m on year 11….and I have one in diapers still. If Hubz has some horrible accident after that where he can’t move his arms, he is on his own.
Also. Decaf.
WTF?
My socks are missing too. I think the aliens must be abducting them.
…. and what’s a girls weekend? That term is totally foreign to me.
Skinny jeans. So with you…
On my list would be, “I don’t understand why I didn’t get into amazing shape when I had no kids.” There was absolutely no excuse!
I don’t understand men and i don’t think i ever will.
I think we were separated at birth!
I’m with you on all of these.. I also don’t understand why I can’t wear my PJs and slippers to work. It’s clothes! I’m not naked for goodness sakes!
Oh, the socks one! So true. And I’m SO with you on the skinny jeans.
I gotta speak up for two things though — tofu and legwarmers. I believe people that don’t like it haven’t had it prepared the right way. As for legwarmers, I think they make total sense in a freezing cold office building when you sit right next to an air conditioning vent. (Yes, I wore legwarmers at my office. I feel I had no choice.) But outside of that circumstance, I think they’re ridiculous. Okay, I’ve said my piece.
Great list! I was just talking about missing socks to my husband! I swear the washing machine eats them!
Mmmmm…tofu! Lol. Of course, I agree with you about Starbucks delivery.
Couldn’t agree more with all of those.
I love this list and TOTALLY agree. I have an endless list to add to yours.
omg. i love this ALL. love it.
I agree this list would go on if we didn’t have to stop for laundry, which is EXACTLY what I’m not doing right now.
But, oh, I feel so foolish. I just got a pair of leg warmers to wear with my shorter nightdresses around the house. I can still have that free summer feeling without being cold. Does this use of legwarmers fly?
Ok, to the laundry.
Tofu, Starbucks and wiping 5 yr olds butt….. SO WITH YOU MARIA! This made me laugh! x
HA! Love it! Don’t be tooooooo mad at the girl’s at your kid’s school. After all, we are REALLY cool. Just sayin!
i don’t understand tofu either.
I’m with you on the girlie weekend. What was I doing back pre-Kids anyway? Oh that’s right working my tail off and not having any fun. Seriously I had more sickness in the morning while working for the boss from hell than morning sickness when pregnant.
Love this post, Maria!
I couldn’t even tell you what tofu looks like. I drank soy milk once, and almost threw up. GROSS. I hate the mystery sock phenomena. I still wipe my 4 year old. Kids will always get sick at the worst times… why doesn’t Starbucks deliver? And if pasta could only be a veggie! OMG… life would be blissful! Skinny jeans… not in my lifetime.
I don’t understand why the lawn guys, package delivery guys and any other service people only know how to arrive when the baby is sleeping.
Love your list – and your blog!
Love love love this … and I so relate… I too am still wiping an almost 4 year butt, nothing like hearing “mommy come wipe me up” yelled through the house and seriously why do socks always get lost????
Ok, the ONLY way I understand non-alcoholic beer is when I was preggers. Otherwise, what’s the point?
ha! So true.. I don’t understand any of those things either!
I don’t understand “sleep like a baby” cause baby that doesn’t ever happen with my babies.
Great post! I snorted a few times along with you.
lol me too. makes me crazy all of it!
I don’t understand why stirrup pants are making a comeback. :*(
I hear you! Especially on the butts, liars, and girls getaway!
I definitely don’t get the ecoks thing either. And I WISH my 15 year old daughter didn’t get “skinny” jeans. I hate them!!! I remember the days when she refused to wear jeans..and now I can’t get her out of them…
Seriously, why doesn’t Starbucks deliver. After reading the post after this I have a wicked craving for a latte of some sort and I don’t have the car to even drive anywhere today. Ugh!
Haha great post! I don’t understand these things either. But, what do you mean pasta isn’t a vegetable?
Ha! Love it!!
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If you ever find out about the sock thing, let me know–it’s been puzzling me for over 30 years, and millions of socks! LOL.
As for the skinny jean thing? I never liked them the first…or second time they were “in”. Now, again? Only about 1 % of the population actually look good in them.
Can I just say “ditto” and be done?