Nov
24

I’m NO Foodie

by MARIA on November 24, 2009

A while back, I tweeted out a few things that I had never eaten in my life. The responses I got back were hilarious. People were shocked that I had never eaten Cotton Candy or Corndogs. It’s true – I am not the most adventurous eater. I would probably never eat about 99% of the food you see on cooking shows like Top Chef.  Who made it, and what it looks like on the plate are two big factors that will determine whether I eat it or not. Seriously, I should weigh much less than I do, with all my food pecularities – too bad pasta is not on the no fly list. In fact, there are so many things that I won’t eat or even try that its become a running joke with my husband. Of course, he will eat anything at least once, although he won’t go anywhere near onions, mushrooms or eggs (unless scrambled). Here is a sampling of how weird I am about food.

FOODS I HAVE NEVER TRIED (and never will):

  • TOFU
  • THAI or VIETNAMESE FOOD
  • CURRY
  • LICORICE
  • CORNDOGS
  • GORGONZOLA
  • COTTON CANDY
  • EGGNOG
  • ANY FOOD/DESSERT WITH FRUIT IN IT OR ON IT
  • GRAPE TOMATOES
  • HEN, DUCK
  • OYSTERS, MUSSELS, CLAMS
  • AVOCADO, GUACAMOLE
  • RHUBARB
  • CAVIAR, OR ANYTHING CONSIDERED HOITY TOITY
  • BEETS
  • FRUITS THAT LOOK FOREIGN
  • WEIRD VEGETABLES
  • ODD SPICES

FOODS I HAVE TRIED (and never will again):

  • BLUEBERRIES, RASPBERRIES AND ALL BERRIES EXCEPT STRAWBERRIES
  • WATERMELON
  • LAMB
  • OCTOPUS
  • RAISINS
  • ANCHOVIES
  • MUSHROOMS
  • CELERY – THIS IS MY ALL-TIME MOST HATED FOOD
  • OLIVES
  • LENTILS
  • BUTTERSCOTCH, TOFFEE
  • ROOT BEER/DRPEPPER/ICED TEA/ANYTHING OTHER THAN DIET COKE BASICALLY
  • MINT
  • VEAL
  • MARSHMALLOWS
  • NUTELLA, MARMALADE, JAM, JELLY – ANYTHING CONSIDERED A SPREAD
  • MOST SAUCES

I should totally weigh like 90lbs. Could someone let my butt know?

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{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }

1 leighish29 November 24, 2009 at 2:05 pm

Okay so basically I’m with you on celery and some of the foods you haven’t tried but I’m sorry to say I can’t understand a)berries other than strawberries..I mean…blackberries are the bomb, diggity. b)nutella and c)mint. Mint? really?

psycho ;)

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2 Chibi Jeebs November 24, 2009 at 2:10 pm

And I thought The Man-Thing and I were bad with our “issues!” All this does is make me like you more. :) (My issues are so random and inexplicable, I can’t even bring myself to discuss them. *shakes head* lol)

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3 Maria November 24, 2009 at 2:11 pm

Are we still talking about food???

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4 Jennifer November 24, 2009 at 2:14 pm

Why not tell us what you DO eat?

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5 erin November 24, 2009 at 2:29 pm

celery is my most hated food ever! it doesn’t matter how finely it is chopped, what it is mixed with/cooked with, i can ALWAYS taste it. i have to avoid most soups because they usually contain celery. people always tell me how ridiculous that is because it “tastes like nothing” – yeah right!

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6 Kekibird November 24, 2009 at 2:33 pm

I LOVE that you’ve tried octopus but not a corndog! Too funny. I have a friend whose husband will NOT eat anything white. Like mayo or cauliflower.

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7 Chantel November 24, 2009 at 2:34 pm

Ok, the things on your 1st list I can totally agree with except the Cotton Candy. Everyone needs a little air spun pink sugar in their life. Of course now that I’m older it makes my teeth ache. :-/

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8 Lorraine November 24, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Wow! You are missing out on a lot of great food. Too bad.

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9 TeacherMommy November 24, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Um. What DO you eat? I have a feeling it would be a very short post. :P

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10 Laura November 24, 2009 at 2:38 pm

What qualifies as weird veggies and odd spices? You are so funny Maria.

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11 Pres. Kathy November 24, 2009 at 3:04 pm

Your list is very interesting. I have to laugh about lamb – what kind of Greek are you?? :-) I actually have a small piece on Easter just for the tradition, but I don’t like it either.

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12 LZ November 24, 2009 at 3:06 pm

Wait – never tried Pad Thai? Clams? Corndogs? You don’t know what you’re missing!
I’m with you on fruity desserts. It’s not truly dessert if it has fruit in it.
What are your favorite foods?

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13 Karen November 24, 2009 at 4:45 pm

OMG REALLY??? I’ve had everything on both lists and like all but rhubarb, watermelon and pop. You really are missing out on some awesome foods woman!

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14 Annie @ PhD in Parenting November 24, 2009 at 4:52 pm

Wow! Just wow! I think you are the adult version of my son.

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15 Elaine November 24, 2009 at 4:57 pm

No AVACADO or GUAC????? NO!!!!!!! It’s SO good!!!!
(obviously i feel strongly about this…)

And blueberries are DA BOMB!

And both of the above things are VERY good for you, just FYI. I know I won’t change your mind BUT STIL!!!!

I do TOTALLY agree w/ you on beets and olives. Ick!

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16 nicole November 24, 2009 at 6:37 pm

Of course I think you’re wrong about some of them, but I can totally agree on others. I’m not much of a seafood eater and I’m not very adventurous either, although I’m trying to outgrow some of that. :) I don’t want my kids to be as picky as I am. And corndogs are awesome, just so you know. Do you like fruit apart from desserts?

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17 Jessica November 24, 2009 at 7:32 pm

I’m intrigued! My favorite: “Odd Spices”… I lol’d at this! a Greek girl that won’t eat Lamb, Octopus or olives?! Will you eat feta? (I actually can’t stand lamb or octopus either, so I’m not one to talk.) What is a normal food day for you?

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18 Christine LaRocque (LiteMochaMom) November 24, 2009 at 8:55 pm

So what do you eat? LOL That is crazy

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19 Kathryn November 24, 2009 at 8:59 pm

I definitely think the next post needs to be what you actually do eat. Plain cereal, pasta and bread?

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20 Maria November 24, 2009 at 9:46 pm

Carbs are the devil and definitely on the meal plan.

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21 jenni/mom2nji November 24, 2009 at 9:07 pm

Wow! I love all those foods. Which is why my ass is huge.

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22 Maria November 24, 2009 at 9:45 pm

My ass is huge. What’s my excuse?

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23 Monika November 24, 2009 at 9:07 pm

This list is great! You’re not alone. I won’t eat any meat that resembles what it was when it was alive. I just find it creepy. So most seafood is out for me. Shrimp? I don’t think so! Lobster?Gross! Don’t even get me started on crab, or muscles, or oysters, or… :)

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24 Kimberley Aitken November 24, 2009 at 9:18 pm

I could not live without Vietnamese or Thai food. They are so yummy. Maybe you are a super taster… the type of person whose has very sensitive taste buds and therefore finds many foods over powering.

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25 Sarah November 24, 2009 at 9:23 pm

A woman after my own heart – although a lot of the stuff on your lists are my faves, I have own issues with food. I like to say I’m particular. My biggest stubbling block is meat. Raw meat is the enemy. I will not eat meat off the bone, nor will I eat anything that remotely resembles a corpse/carcass. Also, I don’t eat lamb or veal because I refuse to eat babies!

I am particularily curious about the licorice – do you mean black licorice, or like, Twizzlers?! Yum… Twizzlers!

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26 Maria November 24, 2009 at 9:45 pm

I don’t like red meat either, or corpse-like things. Gross. And no I wouldn’t eat anything resembling licorice or even most candy is a no-go.

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27 Shannon @ Anchormommy November 24, 2009 at 11:11 pm

Being a vegetarian, I’m totally with you on the no lamb, corndogs, hen, duck, clams, etc. But my heart broke a little to see TOFU at the top of your list! It just makes me sad because so many people think they don’t like it, when in fact they’ve just had a dish with crappily prepared tofu. In my humble opinion.

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28 Carrie November 24, 2009 at 11:22 pm

My goodness! Never did I think I would encounter an adult with crazy food pickiness like that LOL. I agree with some of the things but I have to agree with another commenter: NO COTTON CANDY??!! Oh you have to try just an itty bitty taste of that before you die. It just can’t be called a life without trying cotton candy!

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29 Lauren @ MOMMY IS ROCK N ROLL November 24, 2009 at 11:37 pm

What the fuck do you eat? I absolutely LOVE most of the foods you listed! I still love you, weirdo.

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30 carareed November 24, 2009 at 11:47 pm

Finally! A woman after my own heart :) I cannot agree more with the majority of the things you posted! I’m always trying to prepare new things for my family that I think they’ll enjoy & to try & keep the kids from picking up the same food habits that I have. On those nights I quietly hide the things I refuse to eat, make a big presentation over getting the kids to eat what is on their plates & then make myself something separate after they’ve gone to bed. And whoever thought that putting fruit in a bad for you dish could be passed off as a dessert is on my shit list.

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31 Lady Mama November 25, 2009 at 12:12 am

What? Your taste buds are missing out on the orgasmic food experience that is curry!

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32 Summer November 25, 2009 at 3:00 pm

It’s totally the opposite in my house, I’ll eat everything but my husband is extremely picky about what he eats. LOL

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33 smothermother November 25, 2009 at 8:31 pm

i’m with everyone here, what do you eat? i love many of the things on your list. have to agree with you on mushrooms though. fungus that grows in poop? no thank you!

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34 Thomasin November 26, 2009 at 9:43 am

Oh my! This is the first post I’ve read of yours and it makes me laugh it’s so opposite of my house. For Thanksgiving we’re having Moroccan Chickpea Patties (made with fennel) and served with ginger sauce because turkey is too common. We’re all about the unusual here. ;-) And it’s all good. Happy Thanksgiving!

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35 Recovering Procrastinator November 29, 2009 at 11:08 pm

Thank you for making me realize my daughter and husband aren’t as crazy picky as I thought they were!!

I’m curious which fruits/veggies you think are odd/foreign and which ones you do eat.

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36 Maria November 29, 2009 at 11:45 pm

Here are the ones I will eat:

Veggies I’ll eat: Tomatoes (I know its fruit, but whatev), Cucumbers, Romaine, Zucchini, Green & Red Pepper, Potatoes, Eggplant
Fruits I’ll eat: Apples, Oranges, Grapes, Grapefruit, Kiwi, Peaches, Plums, Nectarines, Tangerines

That’s pretty much it, although I may have missed a couple. I guess things like Mango, etc, I would consider “foreign” because I’m an odd duck that way.

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37 Lydia, Clueless Crafter November 30, 2009 at 4:12 pm

Your not list is impressive! I don’t like a lot of things but I just eat them because my mother always trained me to be a proud member of the “clean plate club.” Actually, she forced me, but whatever. She’s a post war baby and you don’t mess with that.

And yes, Nutella sucks and should never be eaten again. How can this be so popular??

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38 alittlesandy December 1, 2009 at 12:09 pm

I love tofu and Thai food, but I’m pretty weird. I LOVE your classification of “weird vegetables,” lol. You and my sister would get along great.

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39 CanadianMama December 3, 2009 at 9:54 am

Okay, that is quite the list! So what do you eat then LOL!

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