DEATH by Twilight

9th December 2009

I have been challenged by a few of my Twitter friends to read the Twilight series (or the dumb vampire books as I like to call them). @MrsLouLou (Twilight Crazy Lady), @scunning (only slightly wacko) and @MyMessyParadise (little to no crazy) are giving me $20 gift certificates to Starbucks (each) to read the entire thing without jumping off any tall buildings during the process. The lovely @KathyBuckworth has also offered me a free copy of her latest book to read them too. I can’t say no to the offer of a book – honestly, if you know me at all, you will know that I will pretty much do anything if books are offered as a bribe. Of course, playing on my Starbucks addiction is pretty harsh, but what do you expect from Twilight “crazies”.

So, thanks to @JustOneMiss, I am now reading the first book electronically – because its free (I refuse to pay for these books). My thoughts so far? Well, its definitely in the young teens section of the bookstore for a reason. Also, knowing that Robert Pattinson plays Edward in the movie is really annoying because I would like to try to envision someone actually good-looking as this vampire dude. Other than that, I’m overwhelmed by the cheese. Its only a taken a few hours, but I’ll be done the first one tonight. I have to be – its the holidays people – Vampires are SO NOT CHRISTMASY.

(Please Note: If you’re one of these Twilight obsessed people who can’t take the criticism/sarcasm/hatred that I have for these books, than I suggest you have a stiff drink before you leave me a comment, or avoid my delightful commentary all together. Because to be fair, I laugh at the haters of the haters. Its called a sense of humour – ask for one for Christmas).

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0 thoughts on “DEATH by Twilight

  1. nicole

    I think it is funny that people are bribing you to read them! I enjoyed them last year as a fun escape. They are definitely not going to be in the pantheon of great works of literature though.

  2. Kathy Buckworth

    Thanks for taking one for the team, Maria. I promised my 10 yo daughter I would pre-read these books for her to see if they were suitable or not. I got through the first one. Here’s my summary:

    Edward has beautiful skin. Beautiful, beautiful skin. And breath.
    Sadly, he is a vampire.

    The end.

    I handed her the book. Now she wants me to read New Moon. But I don’t have to. Maria’s doing it for me.

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  4. Dawn

    Snicker…these books suck.

    Whoops. Did I say that out loud? 🙂 And what is with the Pattinson guy? I thought I was the only one that found him…um…unattractive. It’s some kind of mind control thing. It has to be…and it all started with the beanie babies and Oprah. 🙂

    If you’re interested, I wrote a review of Twilight awhile back…

    Glad I stopped by. You’re my new best friend.

  5. Tara

    books are definitely an easy read, enjoyable even. I found them addictive and couldn’t put them down. Comparisons to Harry Potter are insane.

  6. Jenn

    SO glad you are at least trying to get through them!!! I am a FAN!!! LOVE them… but then again I have a teen & I started reaading them back in 2005 when they came out!! Good luck to you and I will throw a $20 GC in the ring if you can honestly say you liked t hem ( after you have read them all!) LOL

  7. Shawna

    Ha! I read them last December. They were fun. But that is all, clearly cheesy teen fiction. And damn I was glad I didn’t know of Robert Pattinson when I read them because he ruins Edward for me. New Moon was my favourite but I dragged my husband to the movie last night and blah, cheesy, cheesy, cheesy. Wish I hadn’t bothered. I’m envious that you’re being bribed with gift cards to read them!!!

    1. Maria

      CORRECTION – I cave in the name of Starbucks – Its a challenge, and I can’t say no to it! Besides I need to replace my husband’s non-stop work talk with something while he’s away!

  8. Kathleen Karluk

    Well, I would consider myself one of those crazies, and although I would not go as far as bribing anyone to read them, I am happy someone is doing it to you! 😉 Enjoy the Starbucks!

    p.s. if you hate the saga just a little less when you are done reading I will be happy!

  9. spydergrrl

    Hello, my name is spydergrrl and I hate Twilight. It’s been 10 days since I last said that.

    I think I’m being shunned by my girlfriends for not reading it. Of course, I also won’t go see Lady Gaga or Britney. I’m a downright outcast.

    I’ll be in the corner drinking my Starbucks and reading my Wired magazine until your next post.

    Be strong!

  10. amber

    The Edward of the movies is so disappointing. I personally read all four books, hating myself for loving the cheesiness of them the whole time. Good luck.

    1. Maria

      I totally agree with you – Knowing that he’s the one playing Edward is super annoying – they could have at least cast a hot guy.

    1. Maria

      That’s the comment I was waiting for??? Really??? I like books without spelling mistakes and cheesy lines. I also like the ones that don’t come with the hideous swag.

  11. Meredith

    I would do just about anything for Starbucks and free books too!

    I did not like Robert Pattinson being cast as Edward, he does not fit the character description at all in my mind.
    I found the books a fun break from reality.

  12. Thomasin

    I haven’t read them yet, but I have so many friends who love them that I’ll have to get started pretty soon here. I hate reading books electronically, though; I’ll be hitting-up the library for my copies. Good luck to us both!

  13. Kyrsten

    Well, yes, I’m obsessed by the books. I refused to read it until a friend gave me the first one for my birthday last year. And then I got nosy how the story will end, which one she’ll really choose.
    The films are well done but I’m with you – Mr Pattinson isn’t the right one for Edward, not as handsome as he should be.
    But well, I wish you fun with the story anyway 🙂

    1. Kathleen Karluk

      I’m with you Loukia! Well mostly. It is Edward the character I find most appealing…the protecter, the guy who would give his love anything….well you know what he’s like. RPatz might not be the hottest guy around and I get that many disapprove of him being cast for the role but there is something endearing about him even though every interview I see him do he looks so uncomfortable and akward.

      1. nicole

        The second book was the worst one of the series, in my opinion. The action picks back up in three and four and Bella is not as wimpy and co-dependent.

  14. CanadianMama

    Okay, I totally admit it – I LOVE Twillight! I was so sad when the last book was over. For the record I’m in my late twenties and I have a university degree haha! I’m so lame!!

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  16. Sandy

    I can’t wait to hear your final assessment, lol!

    I have to admit, I like the first two books, But it was very, very painful trying to get through the third and fourth books.

  17. MarcyKay

    LOL! You are too funny! I am glad I stumbled across your blog. I love your sense of humor =)

    Vampires have never been my thing, but last year I read the books out of curiousity, since everywhere I looked everyone was talking about them. I have to admit I enjoyed them, but I think it is more because I was able to envision the characters how I saw them, since the movie was not out yet. That Robert guy is nothing to brag about, definitely not how I envisioned Edward. LOL! I do like the author’s style though. I think she did a good job of making the reader feel like they are in the book, a personal experience.

    I have nothing bad to say about the books, other than Bella sure whined alot throughout the entire series. I have yet to see either of the movies. I think I’ll wait til they come out on regular TV, or a friend has them because I won’t spend money to see an ugly guy play what I depicted as a perfect man. Ha!

    I do not blame you for giving in, even with your hatred for these books! Shoot, just one $20 Starbucks card and I will read any book you want me to read! LOL!

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