As you may have read here, I have been challenged to read the Twilight SKATA, I mean SAGA (no I don’t), by some fellow Twitterers. As far as I’m concerned, for someone who’s a hater, I’m totally rockin’ it! I’m done book 1 & 2 and halfway thru book #3.
My Synopsis (so far):
Book#1 – TWILIGHT:
Girl moves to small, rainy town to live with her dad. Girl meets weird dude. Weird dude ends up being a vampire. Girl and Vampire are in LURV. Weird dude/Vampire’s “daddy” is HOT. Bad Vampire smells Girl. Bad Vampire wants to eat Girl. Good Vampire saves Girl from being killed by Bad Vampire. Good Vampires make Bad Vampire Chop Suey. Oh, and some dude named Jacob.
Book #2 – New Moon:
Girl and Vampire are still in LOVE. Girl goes to Vampire’s house for her birthday. Girl gets paper cut opening a gift, almost gets eaten by other “good” vampire. Vampire tells Girl that he doesn’t wants her anymore and Vampire family disappears. Girl goes LOCO. Girl makes friends with Jacob. Jacob is in LOVE with Girl. Girl does crazy shit as reverse psychology on Vampire. Vampire does not bite. Girl finds out Jacob is a WEREWOLF. Surprise, surprise, Girl doesn’t care. Girl almost dies jumping off a cliff. Vampire thinks Girl is dead. Vampire goes to Italy to get murdered – he can’t live without the Girl. Girl & Vampire’s sister go to Italy to save him. Blah Blah Blaggity Blah……Vampire proposes….Marriage?
Book #3 – Eclipse (so far)
Vampires. Girl. Werewolves, werewolves, and more annoying werewolves. Boring werewolf stories. Bad Vampires still trying to kill Girl. (Just kill her already).
SO, there you have it – I’m almost done and will have a final post about all the books (maybe even the movies – yes I watched both, thanks illegal internet movie people) in the near future.
I’m sure you can’t wait.
(please note: skata means shit/crap/poop in Greek)
{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }
ive read it.i even wrote a post about it. seen the movies also.
Wow. Sounds…um…riveting.
Not.
Sounds a lot like Shakespere? Without the Animals.
I’ve had so many of my friends try to persuade me to watch twilight.. But I just cant do it.. I’m just not interested!
But I have said this before about books & films and have a few mths/years down the line converted into a fan!
Oh my heavens… as much as I LOVED LOVED LOVED the books and movies, I LOVE THIS POST EVEN MORE! How can I love this post when I’m such a die-hard fan? YOU ARE HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You crack me up! Glad you are “enjoying” the experience.
hihi Although I love the books I enjoyed your summary. Well done!
This summary is great….the movies didn’t do much for me, but the books I could not put down! I do recommend anyone who loves to read (and can get over the hype) to read this series. It is really good writing, in my humble opinion.
Awesome! …but you forgot the he-loves-me, he-loves-me-not, he-stalks-me, so he-must-love-me part of Twilight.
sounds painful. I can’t beleive you are almost through all three of them. that takes some dedication
Personally, I enjoyed the books. But it ends there. I do not understand the obsession some people have developed. However, I’m sure there are many people who could never understand why I would go see the new Star Trek movie 4 times.
And here is the last little nudge I needed to NEVER think of even looking at those books – LOL — this cracks me up because all of my IRL friends swoon over these books/movies and I feel the EXACT SAME WAY — awesome post. I’m hysterical laughing.
I read the books, loved them, but TOTALLY agree with every word you said, ESPECIALLY (Just kill her already).
Loved your post!
Thanks!!
Oh how I love your summary of these books! I read all of them and actually liked them when I read them–in the “it’s bad writing but I’m in the mood for fluff so it’s okay” way. The hysteria around the books and movies has totally turned me off anything Twilight though.
I think it’s hilarious that people think this is well written literature. I know I will get pummeled for that remark, but personally I cringed so often while reading this stuff.
I quote:
“Vampires like baseball?”
“It’s the American pastime.”
Nuff said.
Monika.
Thank you. Now I don’t have to read them You are the bestest friend ever!
Yeah. Nothing so far is making me think I haven’t made the right decision in skipping this stuff.
You are such a riot…they aren’t THAT bad…Your interpretation is spot-on in some cases. I can admit this, even as a big fan who is out $20 if you finish them…
Maybe I am in the minority here by thinking the books were good, but I do a lot of reading and I did enjoy these books. I actually had a hard time putting them down. I read all 4 books in 7 days. I am not obsessed with it nor do I understand the obsession, but I do think the books are worth reading….now the movies are a different subject all together.
Hahaha! You’re killing me!! I’ve never read a book report quite like this one.
Well, hats off to you for giving it a try. You’re a better person than I am!
oh, honey, how could you’ve forgotten the: “oh, how could this *GOD* want me? I’m so plain and he’s so perfect… and I’m such a clutz and he’s so graceful… and… blah blah blah…” “Oh, but there is no other woman for me…” “but I’m so dull and you’re so brilliant… I’m so bad at volleyball, and you’re so good at the piano…” “but you are perfect in your way, and I don’t want to ruin your perfection by turning you into a vampire…” gag, gag, barf, choke…
Still, I’m a big fan of the series — having read the books several times over — but I can’t deny the often ickiness of the cheese.
Seriously, if I weren’t so “Team Edward”, I’d be choking on my own vomit by now!
Great review, my dear! I can’t wait for the next installment.
xo
Hilarious! Even though I loved the books and the movies; I absolutely LOVE your reviews.
Love it! You are doing great. I am so looking forward to your comments on the next book.
I have been resisting reading this series…looks like a great read for the car over the holidays!..Thanks I’m totally in!
This is so funny. I’ve never read the books and only seen the movies because the kids wanted to see them. I just got the audio books for the kids iPods for Christmas, shhh don’t tell’
Great site! Keep up the good work!
Do you tweet and have a twitter account so I can follow you?
Twilight was good. New Moon was better. I only wonder how good the next Twilight movie will be… I mean can it be worse. According to this quiz, it’s supposed to be terrible http://twilight-quiz.blogspot.com
{ 3 trackbacks }