My blog got a troll visit yesterday. It was actually quite odd because she left a comment on a post I published last October, as an entry to a contest that was held by Jill of Scary Mommy. But it wasn’t the post that was the issue – it was the use of the word MOMMY that she seems to have a problem with.
Here is her comment, unedited:
“Why is it that you call yourselves “mommies”? It’s infantile, like being called a girl instead of a woman. If giving birth (or adopting) and raising a child is so important, why don’t you insist on the dignity of the word “parent”? Or “mother” — if you insist on focusing on gender as well? I am a parent and I was “mommie” only to my children and then only when they were young. No wonder men and childfree women don’t take you seriously: You are endlessly self-absorbed, boring, juvenile, and have nothing to say for yourselves beyond your reproductive status and childrearing.
Sad, right? Ignorant – YUP. Not sure which bothers me more, the fact that she’s a total dumbass, or the fact that she thinks MOMMY is spelled MOMMIE.
This troll is really clueless. There is no dignity in the word Mommy and I should insist on being called/calling myself Parent or Mother? “IF giving birth and raising a child is so important…”?
Since when is there no dignity in being called a Mommy? I AM PROUD to call myself a Mommy, and am proud to associate myself with anyone who does so.
- I am proud that I was pregnant (twice dammit) and did everything I could to ensure my children were brought safely into this world.
- I am proud I survived labouring for 23 hours and close to 30 stitches to repair my lady bits.
- I am proud that I survived major abdominal surgery to welcome baby #2 into my life (that sponge bath that followed was pure awesome too).
- I am proud that I’ve spent the last six years of my life working to raise strong, thoughtful, kind, honest, grateful (and funny) human beings.
- I am proud that I find no greater joy than being with my children (sorry husband).
- I am proud that I love being a mommy and no one can say anything to me, to change that. Ever.
It’s my joy and privilege to be a part of their lives (and I’m sure they feel the same way because I am the SHIZ). Is that what you call self-absorbed? Well, then I’m okay with that.
What do you think? Personally, I’m kind of over the mom-on-mom attacks at this point.
Come on Mommies, I know there are MANY of you out there in the blogosphere, and on Twitter that will want to stand up and say that you too are PROUD to call yourself a Mommy. If you’re compelled to respond, then I would love to read it. If you feel compelled to write a post, then please add the link below so that I (and others) can find each other’s posts.
{ 77 comments… read them below or add one }
HELL YEAH! Woo woo woo!!! You tell em Maria!!!
Hey Mommy! I am SO proud to be called a Mommy and will be when I’m 150 years old! Mother sounds so…. cold and formal.
I’m not even a mommy but I will be (or a mamma, mom, mummy, overbearing parent [when they're teens], and I think clearly this is a MOTHER who has far too much time on her hands. She wants to call using the term “mommy” juvenile. How about sorting through old blog posts to pick fun at the use of a noun – how’s that for self-absorbed and juvenile. Whatever you want to call yourself has no bearing on who you are as a person and everything that you’ve given and do for your children.
And to address the childfree women comment – I am childfree though have already found myself in the mommy mindset because I’m almost there. I could care less what term you use to call yourself. You popped out and nurtured a child or children, sacrificed, and made THEM the focus of your life. That is what deserves the respect, regardless of noun usage.
And it’s already a term that gets thrown around here anyways. My hubs insisted on referring to me as mummy/mommy from the 2nd we got our first pet. I resisted for a while b/c I think it’s just weird, but now I’ve accepted it. Now that is just a whole other debate in itself.
Tell her, sista! She sounds like a complete dumbass for sure! And BTW – I don’t think hearing my little girl call me Mommy is in anyway devaluing my role as a parent. To hear her little voice say mommy with such affection in her voice melts my heart and reaffirms just how much I adore being a MOMMY!
I’m a childless male,
I find no difference in “mommy’ “mother” or “parent” aside from you being old if you want your kids to call you mother (thats something my grandparents called there parents)
“mommy” on the other hand is a much more hip/young/aweseomsauce term so here is to all the mommies of the world! *lifts non existent drink*
i mean seriously, your are a mother your a mommy your a parent…all are true and all apply,
thats my 2 cents anyway
Geesh!! What’s her issue?! Some people can be so ignorant. She probably makes her kids call her Mother Dearest. I LOVE calling myself MOMMY!!! And I hope my kids call me MOMMY for a very long time. And people take me very seriously, thank you very much!
My kids gave me the title Mommy. Or more specifically, Mummy. It’s the greatest title I will ever have, bestowed upon me by the people I love most. I wear it proudly and will until the day I die.
Mommy is just the warm up for Mommy Dearest
Chalk it up to someone who needed to vent.
Cheers
David Pylyp
My entire blog is devoted to the issue that motherhood is NOT taken seriously, is NOT respected, and is NOT treated like a professional job.
Yes, I am a mommy, a mother, a mom, a mama… and I am damn proud of it!
“IF giving birth and raising a child is so important…”? Okay, so, just HOW does this troll think she got into this world?!?!
Here’s proof that there is no shortage of morons in the world. Sigh.
http://www.professionalfamilymanager.com
I feel sad for the person who left that comment. It’s pretty obvious she has some issues and needs some validation in defining others as less than herself. I hope she figures out what she needs. I love being a mom, mama, and mommy. I hope some day she can also come to a point where she can accept any and all of those titles, too.
Well this mommy stills calls her own “mother” mommy. So there.
You go girl! “Mommy” is my absolute proudest name. It is full of love and respect and awe.
“Mother” and “Parent” have their place, but they are too formal for every day use.
I’m a mommy, sometimes called a mama, and there is no part of it that bothers me. If my 2 yr old called me “Mother” I would feel like she doesn’t know me. And these random blogoshperic attacks are so stupid and pointless. Seriously, if that’s how she feels then fine. Good for her. Why she feels the need to say trash to you on your blog I don’t get. When I don’t like what I read (unless I do think it is HORRIBLY offensive and comments were invited), I just go elsewhere on the web. My time is too precious to waste on pointless banter with people I don’t even know.
Good Grief, that troll is just sad. Pathetically sad. Great reply!
Some people are just unhappy in their lives.
Responded on my blog and linked up.
Love you!
I am proud to be Mommy also from the day they were born till the day i die. But as they get older i will be Mom or Mother but i know that i was and always will be a Mommy to them i just know i will not hear it in those words exactly.
To Mommy it is say it loud.
My kids now refer to me as Mom and i must admit there are days that I mis being called Mommy. Also I’m not sure about the rest of you but when people are visiting our house and talking to my kids they refer to me as Mom as well- I really don’t mind. The boy tried calling me Ma one day- yeah that didn’t go over so well. My thought ,Mother is something that is mainly seen of legal documentation these days. In closing mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy!
I just referred to my 59 year-old ‘parent’ as ‘Mommy’ in my tweet. I am a MOMMY. She is a MOMMY. Mommy is warm. Mommy is loving. Mommy is playful – not juvenile (unless you mean juvenile in the sense of how my kids see the world right now, then hell yes, I’ll be glad to be referred to as juvenile!)
Mommy is ME. I am MOMMY. Hear me RAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRR!
Ohh, I also on occasion call my parents “mommy” and “daddy” too. Not always directly to them but when talking to one about the other. i.e. “can i talk to daddy now” on the phone. My parents have been empty nesters for a long time, my mother is in her 60′s and I’m sure she still loves to be referred to and thought of as mommy because she always will be. In fact, when talking about my dad, to both my brother and I she’ll still refer to him as Daddy (if not Poppa if it’s in reference to the offspring).
I’m still worked up about this, if that wasn’t obvious
For the life of me, I can’t understand what the point is of even taking the effort to write such a comment. For the record “mommy” is a hard earned title, one I relish. What a freakin’ twit. I’m standing proud with you dear friend.
http://litemochamom.blogspot.com/2010/02/why-im-proud-to-call-myself-mommy.html
I too am proud to call myself a mummy, mum or mama because I adore my children and my role as a parent. I also know that I am not alone in loving your ‘self absorbed, juvenile, child rearing’ blog posts. Blog Trolls need to get a life and take their rants back to their Troll caves where they belong.
Oh look, what do I have here in my mommy bag…. oh lookieloo it’s a high five and an ass slap for you and a one finger salute for your troll. She sounds like an ice queen. She probably needs a hug but I wouldn’t want to stick to her. I have the same rule about licking flag poles in the winter. I pity the fool….
Wow, that person has way too much time on her hands. Spend your time worrying about something a little more important in life lady! Life’s too short to give yourself gray hairs over something so trivial.
Also, who the hell is she to tell you what you can/cannot call yourself? Bye-bye head case!
Great post. You inspired me to write one of my own.
Wow! I cannot believe that someone is that obtuse! Seriously if she is not a “parent” then what the heck is she even bothering to read a “mommy” blog for let alone being so obviously agitated by it that she felt she had to comment. YAY for being a mommy!
At first I thought ‘she must not be a mom’ then after reading that she is (apparently) a mom, I think – she’s full of shit… and if she’s telling the truth – then she’s a sad, miserable person. Who the fuck has a problem with the word ‘mommy’? Seriously? WTF? Also, WTF is she doing reading mommy blogs? Sigh. Some people. Sad little lives they have… I will always be a mommy, and I love that word. PROUD MOMMIES UNITE!
Seriously? What the hell, Maria? How weird was that comment? OMG. I can’t even write how MALAKISMENI that commenter was. AH RE POUTANA! Great post – you’re an awesome mommy and we all know it! And look how awesome your kids are – clearly you’re doing a great job!!
LOVE THAT! You are so right – EINAI MEGALE POUTANA. TELIOS MALAKISMENI!!!! SIGOURA, SKATA MANA THA EINAI!!
Wow! I can’t believe some people!! Great response and I like you am proud to be called Mommy
My kids call me mommy with endearment. It will always hold a special place in my heart – even when I’m also being called wife, sister, aunt, friend etc etc. I am mommy.
It’s offensive to think that there is anything wrong with talking about my kids (in addition to the hundreds of other topics I could weigh in on). While I was all angry when I first read this post, I realized it warrants little merrit coming from someone who clearly set out to comment on a ‘mommy blog’. Free world, stop reading if you don’t like it.
The rest of us can continue to write and speak about whatever we want, including our kids. I’m a mom. And couldn’t be prouder to wear that title.
wow maria! honestly? what an asshole that commenter troll thing is. i don’t understand why, if people have different opinions, they feel the need to belittle and put down. i’m a mommy. i’m a grown woman. my children are not infants. nor am i. i am so offended on some many levels by this womans comment that i can’t even begin to start.
yay you that you didn’t let this comment slide and you addressed it.
the word mommy is a term of endearment…which is why her children probably stopped addressing her as such.
What is it about the anonymity of the internet that gives people the balls to say things like this? Would she have said this to you had she met you at a dinner party? Not so much…
http://cowandthemoon.blogspot.com/2010/02/one-proud-mommy.html
I am a proud mommy. Really, I would hope to not be so uptight that I would insist that my son called me mother. Why not add ‘dearest’ too. Because that is the kind of person who cannot allow his/her heart to be light and fun loving. I feel sorry for anyone raised by such a hard, cold, probably unapproachable… parent.
And PS I still call my mom ‘mommy’…..
The day that my son stops calling me mommy will be a sad, sad day. I still love to hear it. It’s hard work and to hear “mom” or “mother” just doesn’t have the sweet, touching sound of “mommy.” I vote for “mommy” for as long as I can get away with it.
Maria
I think we all know that post had nothing to do with you or any of us who are proud mommies. It’s unfortunate there are people who only see what’s wrong rather than what’s right. It irritates them to see that some people might actually be enjoying their lives.
I don’t mind someone disagreeing with me. I think it creates great discussion. However, respect begats respect. We have to learn to disagree without being down right disrespectful to others in the process. The message is so much better received when we deliver it with a heart to create change rather than trying to shame someone. Hopefully, whoever posted that nasty comment will learn to talk to people in a way that makes people think rather than makes them want to attack. That’s just my 2 cents….
Thinking of changing my name to Megryansmommy!
I wonder if your troll is watching to see if she got the (surely) desired shitstorm. I can’t think of any other reason for posting such tripe, on an old post to boot. Alas, I think “she” will be disappointed. Poor little troll.
I love being a mommy, but have to admit that I cringe a little at things that are called mommies’ groups or classes for mommies or mommies morning out. I don’t know why that bothers me, when I don’t mind being called a mommy. Make any sense? Maybe I’m just odd…okay, I know I’m odd.
You’re not odd! Everyone has a right to their opinion and their preference – thank God for that! But to call women infantile and without dignity because they prefer the term Mommy is just pure ignorance. And completely pathetic.
‘Mommy’ groups -the name -bug me because they’re exclusional. My hubby is the stay-at-home-daddy….
I just have to say AMEN! to you. I love calling myself Mommy b/c that is what my kids call me and with out them, well, I won’t be a Mommy at all.
I’m a Mamaidh in this house which is just the way you spell it in Gaelic – it still sounds like MOMMY!
And I’m a proud one at that!! It took me a miscarriage, 3 yrs of infertility, clomid, another 2 yrs of unexplained infertility, and the grace of God to be blessed with my 2 children! Mommy is a title I think I am well-deserving of, thank you very much!!
And a raise a glass of non-juvenile liquid: TO THE MOMMIES (ie is only acceptable in the plural form, troll)
Shit, now I have to change the name of my blog! I had no idea I was representing self-absorbed, boring, juvenile women who have nothing to say for ourselves beyond our reproductive status and childrearing.
RTed of course!
Mommy and proud of it!
I am proud to be a mommy (not mommie). I am proud to have adopted (twice) and given birth once. I am proud to have traveled halfway around the world to pick up my baby. I am proud to have worked harder than I ever worked in my whole life to push my baby out. And BOO to anyone who thinks it is “endlessly self-absorbed, boring, juvenile” is sad and has no clue about what being a mommy really is.
Oh please. She actually took the time to type that all out? What a miserable woman.
I think she needs to look in a mirror. Her argument is juvenile and boring. WHO CARES what we call ourselves? What matters is what WE think of ourselves and the health and happiness of our children!
I am proud to be known as Mommy and quite honestly, I’m just fine with anyone who wants to refer to me as a girl. Sounds a lot better than “ma’am.”
I’m going to agree and disagree.
Personally, I think that mommy is what my kids call me. It is who I am to them. I don’t want the rest of the world calling me “mommy” anymore than I want them calling me any term of endearment that my husband, parents or siblings might use for me. I may be “sis” to my sister, but if you call me that, I’d think it was odd. So I think that is why I cringe when people call me a “mommy blogger”, especially if it is used to say that I am just a “mommy blogger”.
That said, I don’t think the commenter has any right to tell you how you want to be defined or how you want to refer to yourself. She was also completely out of line in calling you “endlessly self-absorbed, boring, juvenile, and have nothing to say for yourselves beyond your reproductive status and childrearing”. You may be “bored”, but you’re not “boring”.
I was going to leave a very similar comment to Annie, but damn, she said it for me!
I actually have a lot of trouble being referred to by anyone BUT my kids as mommy (in our house, it’s Mummy or Mum). E.g. I’m not a mommy blogger. I’m a parent who happens to have a blog, had it before the kids. I don’t like the “mom-ification” of words. I do think it can get pretty cutesy and sickening.
However, I would never leave a comment on someone’s blog telling them how to refer to themselves. You want to call yourself mommy? Go right ahead. None of my business what anyone wants to call themselves. And that comment was totally evil in general.
(see, she said it first!)
I could give a rat’s ass whether or not someone thinks I’m degrading myself by calling myself a Mommy or that I’m proud of being one. Whatever. All that really matters to me is that my kids love me and respect me for who I am. (and my husband of course).
I mean, what’s next…is calling ourselves female instead of women or mothers more respectful and valid to this woman? Who is she to judge our own self-worth??????? Screw her.
Great post Maria! I love when my kids call me Mommy. Even my teenagers still say it once in awhile. It makes me smile. If people other than my kids call/think of me as a Mommy. That’s fine. I know I am a whole bunch of things. And I love that Mommy is one of them!
I probably see a completely different side to the “Mommy”—not that I don’t agree a million percent with those who have commented before me.
My son was never to talk. He still doesn’t really. He has a few words and sounds. He eats through a feeding tube. He walks with help. He will never probably leave my house and have a job or a wife.
When he says “Momma” that means he’s beat some pretty big odds. And I will be his Momma until eternity…and I will be proud to have him say it each and every time.
So, stick that in your MOTHER’s trunk, TROLL!
One word – Ignorance.
It’s people like that who will you will never “win” with. You can tell them that crap stinks and they’ll argue with you until they die that it doesn’t. And…the sick thing…is that they enjoy getting a rise out of others.
You are a super person and a great MOMMIE … even if you are a Poutana
LOL
I’m a Mommy and I have the t-shirt that proclaims it. Obviously she has some issues with her own self-worth as a parent. Mommy is the favorite title that I have.
i’m a mommy, mommy, mommy and i’m proud of it. trolls, go away!
what a sad, sorry person with nothing better to do. i love being a mommy and being CALLED mommy.
I agree with a previous poster that said if this woman took the time to type out this ridiculous rant, she must just be a truly miserable person.
What irks me the most is the fact that, instead of taking the time to comment on what you are actually saying, she chose to comment and criticize your word choice. Way to take out the most important points from your reading!
She must be fun at parties. What an idiot.
You know…sometimes a troll just needs to stay under her bridge where she belongs!
Ugh!
I’m a proud Momma and I will be until the day I die. Long after my kids stop calling me Momma and move on to Mom, I will be a Momma at heart. It’s a special, loving and fantastic term of endearment. I’m proud to be the Momma of one adorable little boy, and hopefully one or two more kiddos down the road.
Anyone who things that Momma, Mommy, etc are childish and do not deserve respect is a sad, sad person indeed.
Purely for insight, I would be willing to bet this woman’s not from the US. I’m originally from Australia and it was a real shock to see grown women refer to themselves and their mothers as “mommies”. Where I’m from the word to be proud of is “Mum” and there’s nothing cold about saying “I’m a mother”.
Only little children use the word “mommy”, so I wonder if this is a cultural confusion.
However, it certainly doesn’t excuse the incredibly rude comment! If it’s an acceptable term, then why take such offense at it?
I agree with you and that lady seemed like a total bitch!
Oh. My. God. There is nothing sweeter than being MOMMY and hearing your children call you MOMMY.
I AM MOMMY, HEAR ME ROAR!!
I wrote a post about it – and linked it with the ever-convenient Mr. Linky.
AMEN. Being called “mommy” by my daughter is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever experienced. I’m so proud to tell people I’m a mommy. It is the title I am most proud of in my life. I think it is absurd that someone would not want to be called mommy or take offense by anyone who does. Mommy is the best word I’ve ever heard and I look forward to hearing it the rest of my life.
OMG- someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Seriously, if she feels so strongly about it why did she feel the need to stay on your blog to write a comment?
Love Mommy – dislike that Mommie
I feel sorry for her MOMMIE-less kids. What a spoiled sport…
Wow! A troll!! It’s awesome that you posted her comment verbatim. There’s really nothing more you even need to say her argument is so cannibalistic. She’s the one with the issues, not mothers who call themselves a “mommy.”
If I knew where she lived I’d send her flowers. Sounds like she needs a hug from her mommy.
WoW! I can not beleive it! I LOOOOVE being called MOMMY! Or MOM. Or MOMMA! I have NEVER heared my children call me mother EVER! Yes we are all mothers ( well those who have children ) but I prefer the sweet sound of mommy.
Here’s my take on the “mommy” issue. Sorry you had a troll!
http://liz.rockonchicago.com/mommy-blogging/in-defense-of-the-casual-maternal-title/
Some peoples kids ey? Gotta love small minded haters
Keep on ROCKIN that shit MOMMY and continue to stand tall & proud because after all……theres nothing better than being MOMMY
One of the greatest days of my life was when my baby boy said, “Mommy, I love you”. I love being a mommy. Why does she care how you refer to yourself? Sad-O. I’m 34 and still call my mother Mommy. Thanks for telling us about it!
Some people are morons’. Im proud to call myself mommy and my kids’ are 11(today) and 7.
I’m a mommy and PROUD to be a mommy!!! She sounds like she has a stick up her ass. What a moron. And I sit here listening to my 2 year old call me Mommy–and I love it!!
Ugh. Pathetic. What irritates me is, why the hell does this person care what you choose to call yourself? My kids call me Mommy, so why wouldn’t I refer to myself as that? My husband’s grandmother refers to herself as “Baba” – which translates in Czec to “old witch”, because her grandkids took to calling her it a long time ago, and it sort of became her name… Some people are so uptight about this stuff it’s sad. I’m proud to be a Mummy, parent, whatever, who cares. Good for you for responding!
Jeez, what a Toss LOL…I can’t believe she wrote that!
I’m a MOMMY AND I’M PROUD!
Maria, Thank you for responding to that comment that person sent you. Some people can be so weird! I love being called “mama” which is the equivalent of mommy I guess. I think we are entitled to our own opinions, but we must respect others. This person was just plain RUDE! The best thing I have done in my life is have Niko and take care of him 24 hours a day. Being a mommy is such a blessing!!!! I say all us mommies need to unite! The blog world is so cool because we find people to support each other! I am so happy to have found your blog! Have a great weekend!
Someone has some major “mommie” issues. It must be her time of the month.
WOW! Ignorant doesn’t even begin to cover it! Unbelievable….one of my worst moments as MOMMY to 4 awesome little rug rats was when my son out grew the word Mommy….to this day, I call MY OWN parents Mommy & Daddy. Nothing says “loving bond” more than those 2 words. Thnx for sharing & speaking out. Nothing will ever be more important than those of us who “reproduce” & dedicate our lives to raising happy & productive members of society. SO sad to see someone put such little value on their own exsistence provided by their own Mommy.
Tracy (AKA The Mayor!)
That’s madness! I just became a mommy (my little one is 4 wks tomorrow!) and I know I’m going to melt into a big puddle of mommy-goo when he finally calls me ma or mama or mum or mummy or whatever baby-garble I decide sounds close enough to that!
I have lost one baby and have been a babyless mommy since that moment and I couldn’t be happier to be publicly viewed as a mommy now. And if my kid ever calls me “Mother” or “parent” I will be seriously peeved.
Some people need to get a life instead of trolling around and trying to offend everyone else.
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