So I mentioned on Tuesday that I found one of my old journals while doing some spring cleaning, and for the most part, it’s a total downer. I was just a baby in the early 90s and about to finish high school. We can all remember how brutal high school was, no? (Excuse me, but are you one of those people who LOVED high school? Seriously? Are you sure? Did you fall down and hit your head sometime between now and then, because high school SUCKED for every one.) Seriously.
Anyway, I let my husband read my little, moody journal, and he laughed and then asked me for a rope. Thankfully, for him, all we have in the house is dental floss and elastic bands.
So because I love you, (what’s your name again?), I thought it only fair that I share it with you. I hope you enjoy these hilariously BAD poems of my youth. Also, I would like to apologize to all ACTUAL poets EVERYWHERE, for calling what you are about to read, poems.
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Poem #1 is called “Hear my tears“, because these tears are SO big, you can HEAR them.
2010 Evalution: Crap (with bonus points for the bloody cross – ’cause I’m nothing if not religious.)
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The Death Inside (a.k.a. Gut Rot) and as yet, Untitled (Holy hell, this is bad)
2010 Evaluation: I cannot read these without laughing my ass off, so that’s a plus. Also, I was clearly in need of some blue pills back in the day.
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Untitled (on the left) and Out Back (My favorite bad poem)
2010 Conclusion: “Sound can only create in times of loneliness”? I say pardon? What a stinker. On the upside, I am still thinking that Out Back is a real masterpiece – because it rhymes of course.
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This one is called Not A Poem, because it’s just a run on sentence.
2010 Conclusion: A bad sentence is NOT a poem even 20 years later.
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Oh, no. Here’s the last one – the last of the crap. I think I left the best (worst) for last.
2010 Conclusion: The great thing about this one, is that you got to witness the genius of my process. I must have run out of Liquid Paper.
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So there you have it – proof the early 90s were evidently a bummer (specifically 1992). Thankfully, I partied enough during the rest of that decade to shake off the weird. Also, once boys were clearly interested, I was all kittens and rainbows all the time.
Now go have a cocktail – you’ve EARNED it.
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(Side Note: If you are a literary agent who wishes to publish my genius, give your head a shake, and find my contact info ABOVE).
{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh my goodness this made me laugh so hard, but only because I HAVE THEM TOO! I graduated from high school in 1994, so my high school years were full of angst-ridden, flannel and fake Doc Marten (Because my parents wouldn’t buy me real ones) wearing poetry writing. It’s so bad I blush when I read it.
Thanks for the flashback. It’s almost like reading my own!
COMMA ABUSE!!!
I’m with you HS sucked and anyone that says different is a liar! I never wrote poems but I collected them..in the 80′s they words spoke to me I had hundreds from Teen Beat magazine…Tiger Beat you name it they all spoke to me……Ya a lil blue pill would have helped back in the day! Thank god we survived! with a few scars…
You were the original EMO!
Hehe, some of them are not bad! I love the ‘creative process’ one.
Glad you survived
Love it! I need to go and look for my high school stuff…and you’re right high school sucked – mostly.
Regardless of your critique, be glad that you have proof of your teen years. I always threw away all my creations and now I wish I had them. Thanks for sharing with us!
hahahaha….nothing better than teen-age angst. I found my HS notes a while ago. I normally don’t put links in my comments and hate it when people do, but I know you’d appreciate this one. http://www.kellyology.net/2010/03/teen-years-in-note-form.html
See? You’re not alone.
HA! Awesome! We were all SO depressed with our HORRIBLE lives!! Seriously, I FEAR my children being teenagers.
Oh boy oh boy! And to think I thought I was the only one harbouring journals of bad, angst-ridden poetry from high school. I look back at it now and can’t believe how BLEAK it all was. Could I have really been feeling that bad? And if so, how did I survive? Hormones are powerful things.
How did we survive? I survived thanks to Concrete Blonde and my walkman. Life was rough.
Ha ha – I laughed so much I had tears (did you hear them?)
Bahahaha! This is awesome. I love ‘Out back’ – I was a little disappointed that it wasn’t about Australia, but I got over it.
These are golden!
I love this! well, not he sad young Maria part.
My favorite: …decays, decays My heart is dead. *hands over academy award*
now i wish i still had stuff from when i was a teen. damnit
If it makes you feel better, I used to listen to Black Sabbath and write down their lyrics. But, I can’t say I hated high school…. Sure there was heartbreak, and tears, but lots of good times, too.
Why am I NOT surprised that you liked high school?
oh, you are so making me wish I still had my angst filled notebooks, although one of my “poems” was actually published in our yearbook LMFAO!!!!! I guess we were all sofa king depressed….
{class of ’91}
Thank you for sharing, you truly made my day! And yes, high school was horrid. UGH!
~Diana
Oh yeah, I am firmly in the “High School Sucked” camp with you.
And I think it’s AWESOME that you found this stuff and shared it! I moped around a ton too, and I think I have some really crappy stuff floating around somewhere. In fact, I’m quite likely to come across it as I prepare to move in a week or so…
I blame 90% of my mopey-ness on The Cure, and the other 10% on my mother. Well maybe it would be more like 80/20. Nah, let’s be honest. She drove me crazy. It’s an even 50/50. Of course, I can take NO responsibility whatsoever! Ha.
we all have the bad poems of our youth…
OK, I may be thinking outside the box here, but…
If you still need your new blog title/catchphrase I think you’ve found some real winners. I personally think Outback, Not a Poem, or Untitled could make great headers for when you redesign. Hmmm???
Those were hilarious, I’m so glad you kept them so you could share them with us for a good laugh!
I totally loved highschool and honestly I’ve said it more than once that I would love to go back for like a week to highschool.
Hey Maria,
I “liked” you on facebook too!
I was cleaning a few years ago and I found my own poems similar to yours. I also used to write down lyrics to sad songs and decorate the pages. Good God, high school was horrible wasn’t it!
Hahaha! I think I have some sad, profound poetry somewhere too (probably in a box in my parent’s attic in England). I agree, high school sucked (mostly).
Wow I’m glad I’m not the only one going through those feelings during high school! I need to find and look throught my old “journals” from high school….also good to remember how it was, my oldest is in middle school, high school is right around the corner! yikes!
hi bored mommy!
love the stuff i found on your blog.. nice.. whoop
the journal is quite messy.. but i like the way you write.
bookmarked!
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