BlogHer? I didn’t even know her!

29th July 2010

I’m going to BlogHer.

Let me give you a moment to celebrate. And by you, I mean me. *Celebration in progress.”

I know, right?

Awesome. I’m crazy excited.

BUT.

In case you happen to see someone who maybe, could possibly be me, you should probably know that I don’t look like my avatar anymore, because I’m aged and robustacular. I’m okay with that – because number one, I love that picture of myself, and two, I am pure awesome on the inside. So there.

Now that we’ve straightened that out.

7 days until Blogher 2010.

Woot.

This is my first BlogHer conference.

Actually, this is my first trip, without my kids, in 7 YEARS. Its my first trip without my husband in 10, and its actually the first trip I’ve ever taken with friends. EVER – and I’m OLD, people! I clearly don’t get out much.

This may also explain the crazy, perma-joker smile that I will be wearing all weekend. If you think I’m drunk, I’m not. I’m just REALLY, REALLY happy not to have to wipe butt for four days straight.

Truth is, I may not want to go home on Sunday. The BlogHer people might have to have me removed when I decide to stage a sit-in. I’ll be the one handcuffed to the Starbucks in the front lobby. Feel free to join me.

It could happen.

By the way, you probably have realized by now that this isn’t one of those Blogher posts that will actually help you prepare in any way. However, I might be able to confirm a few things for you.

  • There will be women there. Millions and millions of fantastic women. Also, a few dudes.
  • You will need to bring a cardigan – because cardigans make the world go round.
  • Every other store front is a Starbucks, so you will definitely be covered in the caffeine front.
  • Don’t wear your cute shoes for too long. Pain trumps cute every time. So not fair. Perhaps you can carry them around for a more bohemian tribute to the pretty.
  • Make sure you eat at least one cupcake and one black & white while you’re in NYC or you won’t be allowed to board the plane.
  • If you see Colin Firth, I better be with you.
  • Don’t leave NYC without getting a Colin Firth tattoo. This one is more for me actually, so carry on.

And now, a little head’s up about me.

  • I am mostly, if not always, smiling. On the inside. If you see me, and I’m not smiling, its because I’m doing algorithms in my head, or thinking dirty thoughts. Either way, very smiley.
  • I am a hugger and/or a hand shaker and/or a double and triple cheek kisser, depending on your culture. I am adaptable in my hellos.
  • I have the worst memory on the planet, unless it involves useless information. I will probably forget your name during our conversation, but I can always tell you about something random that I heard about 4 years ago, especially if it involves a trashy celebrity.
  • I never forget a face. Seriously – never. So if you catch me staring at you, I’m not giving you the stink eye, or the evil eye (which every Greek has perfected in their lifetime – yes that’s your warning) – I’m just trying to place you.
  • If you catch me staring at your ass, your boobs, your outfit, or someone else’s, it’s because I like your outfit, may attempt to replicate it in the future and probably envy how tiny your butt is. But in a good way – I promise.
  • I will not be wearing a dress, to any event or any party!
  • I might come off shy in the beginning. Seriously. Bashful is so in right now.
  • If you feel the need to learn some dirty Greek words, come find me. I will have an arsenal at the ready.
  • If you happen to bring your baby, I may feel the need to come say hello, talk baby talk, or perhaps even hold your baby? Do not be afraid! I am good people.
  • I don’t do drama, especially on a fab trip to NYC. If drama occurs, I will be that person, who suddenly doesn’t speak English, and is walking away in the opposite direction.

Don’t you feel more prepared! I’m so glad. Can’t wait to see you in New York City!!

*

I do want to give a little shout out to an event that I am hosting while in NYC. It started out as a dinner, and has developed into something way fabulous. So a huge thank you to our title sponsor – GM Canada – and all of our swag sponsors for the DinHer event. I am thrilled with how it has turned out, and quite frankly, nothing makes me happier than planning something that makes other people happy. I am adding new sponsors everyday, with no end in sight. So thank you to everyone involved!!

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31 thoughts on “BlogHer? I didn’t even know her!

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention BlogHer? I didn’t even know her! « Bored Mommy -- Topsy.com

  2. Karen

    This was a hilarious read! I can’t freaking wait to see you again!!! Oh and im still pretty bitter about not attending your dinner. Bittther I tell you!

    Reply
  3. LZ

    My first trip without the kids or Joe, and he is worried that I won’t come home. Never even crossed my mind 😉
    Aside from meeting all your lovelies and having fun, the freedom from midnight wakings, cooking, cleaning and butt-wiping are the next biggest reasons for my excitement.
    I don’t really do dresses…and I like the hug/cheek kiss combo if you’re wondering.

    Reply
  4. suzi

    Excited to meet you! 🙂 It’s my first BlogHer too and I am overwhelmed with excitement, nervousness, and just plain Glee at the thought of being with all of these fantastic people! 🙂

    Reply
  5. Lindsey Jacobs

    Awesome post. I will happily remind you WHO I AM every 3.5 minutes. I have a terrible memory too until AFTER the moment is gone and then it all comes crashing back. What? They saved my puppy when I was 10? There really should have been a hug.
    Can’t wait to meet you in person!!

    Reply
  6. katie | motherbumper

    Wait. Are you getting Colin Firth to give you a tattoo? Because I wouldn’t leave NYC either if that was the case. Looking forward to meeting you next week (holy crap, it’s next week isn’t it? HOLY CRAP, I need to pack or something).

    Reply
  7. Corinne

    This might be my favorite post about BlogHer 😉
    Can’t wait!
    And I also will NOT be wearing a dress. And will probably wear my tattered old flip flops the entire trip.

    And there’sa Startbucks in the lobby? How the heck did I miss that info? That makes it all worth it 🙂

    Reply
  8. Danielle

    I have to say, I feel pretty damn lucky to be a part of DinHer. I can’t wait to spend some time with you girls. This is the only “girlfriend” trip I’ve ever taken, so I’m super excited!

    And I like LZ, am partial to the hug/cheek kiss combo.

    Reply
      1. Amber

        Count me in as another who’s never taken a girlfriend trip. I’ve just always had a bf and/or no money for travel 😛 This is the FIRST time it’s all about me and my girls (even if they’re not my IRL girls YET).

        Reply
  9. A Crafty Mom

    Looking forward to NY too!! Add me to the list who have not travelled without kids in 7 years! After weeks in NS on vacation taking care of my three kids, I am so ready for a REAL vacation 🙂 I currently have no dress and no shoes (that sounds so pathetic, am I really a woman?) but I hope to cram some shopping in before I leave for NY next week. Positive my birkenstocks are not going to cut it!

    REALLY excited to meet you next week!!

    Reply
  10. Crystal D

    I am so excited too! This is my first time AND the first time I am ever leaving my three girls.
    I think I am going to drive myself crazy trying to match up twitter pictures with faces. And even then I am sure I’ll be the dork who calls you @BOREDmommy instead of Maria.
    Hope to see you there!

    Reply
  11. April

    This is my first Bored Mommy read … you simply cracked me up!

    My pic doesn’t match my current state either … we must have been separated at birth!

    We must meet … we will meet … I may be in a dress, but my tattered flips will be on my feet {wink, wink Corrine}

    I promise to hug, shake AND kiss … if you like!

    BTW, I’ll bring the handcuffs.

    Mwwuuaahhh,

    april

    PS ~ what type of secrets must I divulge to partake in DinHer??? {grin}

    Reply
  12. Shannon @ AnchorMommy

    “Either way, very smiley.” Ha ha! That really cracked me up. This whole post did, actually, and I wish I were going to BlogHer so I could meet you in real life!

    Have a GREAT time (I know you will) and I can’t wait to hear all about it when you come back! 🙂

    Reply
  13. Old School/New School Mom

    I am so disappointed that I’m not going to BlogHer purely because of this hilarious post. It’s too bad, really, because I live in NYC. You are clearly hilarious and wonderful, and I wish my 2nd kid was born already so you could hold her.

    Reply
  14. SweetMummy

    I really wish I could go to BlogHer. Maybe next year. Though, I’m more likely to make it to a Western location for BlissdomCanada which might be in the works for the future!! Have FUN!

    By the way, I stopped by to tell you I’ve given you an award! Come over to my blog and check it out! CONGRATS! 🙂

    Reply

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