Motherhood is hard, for so many reasons.
It can be so stressful, especially when you have to deal with the hard stuff. Of course, when it involves something that is beyond your kids’ control, it can be really tough for everybody involved. Something like enuresis (bedwetting), which can also involve a level of embarrassment and stress, I think really requires a sensitive approach when discussing.
Personally, I find that just being as open and honest as possible with my kids, while still being age-appropriate is key. I try really hard to not make them feel like what we’re dealing with, no matter what it is, is a problem. Instead, everything we encounter is part of the process of growing up and learning about ourselves. I try to have open communication with them at all times, and invite questions, no matter what it’s about. If they feel more comfortable talking in private (without their sibling), then we have that private one-on-one conversation. Everyone’s experience isn’t the same, and I think it’s important that they realize that and have the chance to express how they’re feeling without any pressure or interruption from a sibling.
I also tell my kids that it’s my job as their mom to do all the worrying, and that I don’t want them to worry or stress about anything. I also remind them that it’s okay to talk about whatever is worrying them, without worry of judgment or “getting in trouble”. And finally, they know that no matter what, I am and always will be, their biggest ally and advocate.
I would love to hear from you about how you deal with difficult issues involving your kids. What works best for you? Do you have any tips or tricks to share?
Disclaimer: This post is sponsored by GoodNites as part of my ambassadorship – however, what I’ve written about here is 100% my own.
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I take the same approach as you: honesty. I think kids just know when you’re not telling the truth and that just makes them pursue the truth even more vigorously – like working at a knot.
I’ve never actually told my kids that it’s my job to worry – but I love that. I’ll be stealing that – thankyouverymuch!
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Excellent topic and you take a very supportive approach. So often I feel like it would be easier to avoid the hard subjects or put our kids off with words like “Oh, don’t worry” to mean “I don’t want to hear about this!” I find that hard topics make me want to tell my kids how to feel, like “Oh, don’t be mad/sad/upset. This isn’t a big deal.” One of my biggest challenges as a parent is to let my kids have their own emotions and not try to direct them!
When I have to talk to them about big, difficult topics I try to spend more time listening than talking.
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