I loathe playdates.
Hands down they are the worst thing about being a mom with kids in school. However, for the sake of my children, I suffer in silence. Sort of.
It’s one thing if you’re getting together with your girlfriends and having a coffee while the kids play – that’s fun for everyone involved. But the playdates where the kids are totally into it but the parents are all painful about making plans? So not the same thing.
For example, take this mother I know – we shall call her Snobby Sue. Snobby Sue is one of those moms who is extremely friendly if she is alone and without her group of uptight “sisters”. If her “sisters” are around, she doesn’t give you the time of day, but alone, she’s your best friend.
“Oh Maria, we should totally get the boys together. Why haven’t we gotten the boys together? We totally should arrange a playdate together soon.” You just KNOW that nothing will ever come of it. What’s the point? Know the type?
- The mother who clearly has no interest in having a play date with your son because in her mind, her son is too much of a genius to play with a ” regular” kid. Yes, my son is the regular kid, and the genius kid BEGS his mom for playdates on a regular basis, which she ignores. She literally drags her socially awkward child away when she sees me. Clearly she can’t stand my aura of awesome.
- The mother who is BEYOND ecstatic to set up a playdate and gives you all her contact information and wants the playdate to happen at that very moment, and when you tell her that you need a day’s notice to make your home less hoarders-like, she sulks away disappointed. Yup, true story.
- The mother whose kid insists on all playdates at your house because that kid enjoys my son’s Lego enough to actually steal it from our house. (He took YODA, dammit – who steals YODA???)
- The mother whose kid is SO out of control that she’s shocked when someone (unknowingly) agrees to a playdate with said child. In turn, I find him STANDING on my very expensive dining room table at one point during the playdate — seriously. I swear I was going to tell the mother what happened, but she brought cookies when she picked him up — a clear form of payment for giving her two hours of blissful silence.
- The mother whose kid comes with a list of instructions — “He can’t eat this, play this, climb this, smile, or have fun for the next hour.” Yeah, that kid … I just hug a lot during the playdate. I may have also snuck him a Timbit, because Timbits make all things better. (Please note: Timbits are the Canadian version of the doughnut hole, because I know you’re probably wondering what the bleep a Timbit is at this very moment.)
- The mother who insists on staying during the playdate (forced adult interaction – that’s not awkward AT ALL) and then proceeds to “compete” with you on everything involving the kids. You know those people: their goal in life is to outdo you no matter what it is, and no matter how much they have to lie to look better than you. PAINFUL.
Avoiding playdates — it’s what’s for dinner.
Can you relate to my hatred of playdates? Have any funny, awkward, painful stories to share??