I’m not a relationship expert, but I am willing to fake being one for you, here, now. You’re welcome. In my eyes, there are two types of Mothers at the playground – the ones that want to talk to you and the ones who don’t. I won’t tell you what kind of Mom I am, [...]
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Sexy sexy time Gilbert Gottfried style.
Anatomy of a Jumbo Freezie.
Hilariously brilliant.
(via Jeff Hamada)
I am a Mother, and the captain of our funny little ship. With two young kids and a third constantly being contemplated, I am the queen of accumulating piles and stepping on Legos. I am a night owl, who is forever exhausted. I am a perfectionist, who has perfected the art of procrastination. I am forever trying to get back to my cute, young self, and am a genius at failing at it. I am a great wife, and an even better friend. If you can make me laugh, I may follow you around for awhile. If you know Colin Firth, I’m moving in. Also, I am easily bribed with a strong latte, so keep that in your back pocket.
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