Jul
10

My Blogher Advice For Blogher 2012

by MARIA on July 10, 2012

Back in 2010, I was lucky enough to be able to attend Blogher in New York City, or what I like to call, My Four Days of Sanity Tour.

Thankfully, I’m going again this year and am super psyched it’s back in NYC!

It of course makes perfect sense that since I have attended ONE Blogher conference in total, I am absolutely qualified to share my worldly Blogher knowledge – with you. Enjoy and take notes.

Clothing

  • I’ll begin with the obvious – wear COMFORTABLE shoes. You will walk A TON, and you will need to wear something you can run in when you’re mowing down people at the Expo to get to that pen you so desperately need and can’t live without.
  • Wear what you love to wear – just leave your Easter bonnets at home.
  • Do not leave home without a CARDIGAN – obviously. Also, because the hotel is chilly and nipple action in photographs is so 2004.
  • Wear some good sturdy underwear – it’s damn hot and humid in NYC and thongs will only contribute to painful chaffing action. Or you could wear thongs and we’ll know why you’re walking funny.

The Hotel

  • The hotel is actually very nice and in a great location, so WIN. However, the elevators may break you – prepare yourself for the longest elevator waiting times you will ever experience. Now get over it and use it as a time to chat with your neighbour. Also, bicep curls while holding your bags of swag is very productive.
  • The hotel bar in the lobby is the place to be late at night. Don’t want to go to sleep because these are the only four days you get to be sans kids for at least a year? Well then I’ll see you there (bring your pennies – the cocktails are tasty, but not cheap).
  • Be nice to the staff – because being rude to people makes you an asshole. Also, they have access to your toothbrush when you’re not around. Remember that when you’re brushing your teeth and tasting toilet water.

The Conference

  • Oh yes, the real reason we’re in NYC (nope it’s not the shopping). It doesn’t take a genius to realize that this conference isn’t possible without the hours and hours of hard work and preparation of some amazing people (no I don’t work for Blogher). So appreciate it and check out the sessions and events, and all that it has to offer. The keynote speakers (hello Katie Couric and Martha Stewart), the Voices of the Year – it’s all just too good. By the way, you heard about the Colin Firth/Magic Mike Final Keynote right? 
  • Don’t just show up in NYC without some preparation first – Sit down and figure out the schedule and what you want to attend in terms of sessions, etc. Figure out the parties you can’t miss and all that jazz ahead of time so you don’t feel completely lost when you get there.
  • Introduce yourself! But remember, introducing yourself is a two part process. For example,

1. “HI, I’m Maria! (Followed by the blank-who-is-this-chick stare).

2. “Online, I’m BORED Mommy (Ding, ding, ding – OH, Hi! How are you?!!).

I’m not kidding – I did this every single time I met someone new. People you haven’t met in real life won’t know what you look like or who the bleep you are until you’re face to face, and staring at each other’s nametags. Don’t be offended by that, it’s just reality. Think of it as a blind date, but with less groping.

  • Don’t skip meals, no matter how tired/hungover/lazy you feel. This is the perfect time to meet other ladies and see if they chew with their mouth closed.
  • Travel in Pairs/Packs – Every year, you hear the same complaint about people being clique-y – I don’t agree with that. It’s just natural that you want to be around people you know and/or are comfortable with. If you’re shy or easily overwhelmed by thousands of women you don’t know, then make plans to conquer those moments with your roommate/girlfriend/bestie. Don’t miss out on a great weekend – be confident and tell yourself that you belong there as much as anyone else, because you do. Yes, this is a sarcastic free bullet point. You are welcome.

Parties

  • Blogher weekend is party overload – tons of official parties, and tons of unofficial and private parties. It is literally impossible to go to everything, so don’t even try. Go to some, skip others and have fun regardless.
  • Do not, I repeat, DO NOT miss Sparklecorn – it is a four hour dance party and just crazy fun.
  • Don’t get too drunk and end up in some weird, compromising situation because we are a people obsessed with the internet. Yes, your fellow bloggers can also be your worst nightmare/paparazzi.
  • Don’t forget or lose those drink tickets you will get at the start of the conference – those babies are prized and will save you some money at the parties. Also, use them to trade for electronics and designer handbags with the drunk people who don’t know what is happening until it’s too late. Ahem.

PACKING

You need a ton of stuff in that oversized (I’m going to try to fit in every piece of swag known to man in here on the way home) suitcase. Including:

  • Cell phone, laptop, ipad, chargers
  • Business cards – if you forget, just bring a permanent marker and write your info on their cleavage
  • Clothing – no really, because that would suck
  • Shoes, supportive underwear, nude pantyhose (one of these things is not like the other)
  • Camera
  • Schedule
  • Cab fare x 4 days – it’s more than you think, I promise you
  • Canadian flag decals – put these on so people don’t have to ask you why you’re so nice, polite and apologetic
  • Lysol wipes – no really, bring an entire container, and wipe down your room (and roommates) before unpacking a thing. You’re welcome said the germaphobe.
  • Heavy Duty, XL garbage bags – Double as obscenely large carry-alls, for the SWAG of course.
  • A copy of Fifty Shades of Grey (or other dirty book)  – for a weird/spontaneous (yes dirty books make you smart) book club and also so you can actually READ IT before you constantly tweet about how much it sucks. Seriously, that’s how reading works. Read first, speak later.

But I digress.

Oh look, Bruce Jenner.

Oh, and if nothing else, just remember this and you’ll be fine:

See you there.

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{ 61 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Jen Banks July 10, 2012 at 2:26 am

You make me wish I was going. Mostly, just to hang out with you and your hilarious sarcasm and pictures of frog ponchos.

Have fun!!

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2 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 2:39 am

Thanks Jen. Wish you were going too!!

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3 Kristin July 10, 2012 at 2:33 am

I think this is one of the best BlogHer advice posts I’ve read.

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4 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 2:39 am

Thanks so much Kristin!!

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5 Liz @ Six Year Itch July 10, 2012 at 2:45 am

This was great! I’ll be a Cherry this year, so all good tips. Especially about the Sharpie. I can’t wait to put my contact info ON other people.

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6 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 2:46 am

Thanks Liz! My cleavage awaits you!

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7 Maria @amotherworld July 10, 2012 at 7:51 am

Haha such a great post! Wish I was coming so we could hang!

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8 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 8:39 am

Thanks Maria!

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9 Kellidaisy July 10, 2012 at 8:00 am

F*ck you make me laugh! I’m glad I’ll have you there to guide me if I get lost. Can’t wait!

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10 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 8:39 am

Woo!! Me too!!

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11 LZ July 10, 2012 at 8:53 am

So THAT’S how a book club works. Duh. Sounds pretty reasonable.

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12 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 8:54 am

Right? Seems simple and yet, for some, not so much.

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13 Nellie July 10, 2012 at 9:00 am

Thank you for this great post! I feel like I learn something new every time I get advice from a new person!

And I read the trilogy and I am down for a spontaneous bookclub whenever!

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14 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 9:01 am

Thanks so much Nellie!

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15 Baby Shopaholic July 10, 2012 at 9:06 am

Great tips! I think I am in love with you! Hope to bump into you at BlogHer!

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16 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 9:09 am

Thanks so much for checking it out!!

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17 Heidi July 10, 2012 at 9:11 am

It’ll be my first time at the big BlogHer Conference, not sure what to expect but this is post is fantastic! Especially like the Canadian Flag Decal idea ;)

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18 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 9:28 am

Thanks so much!

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19 Corinne @ Have Baby Will Travel July 10, 2012 at 9:11 am

As if Martha and Katie weren’t enough, now I REALLY wish I’d made more of an effort to get to BlogHer!

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20 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 9:28 am

You are SO going to regret him, IT.

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21 Krista (@kristahouse) July 10, 2012 at 9:22 am

Those are awesome tips! Fingers are crossed for the Magic Mike/Colin Firth Keynote ;)

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22 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 9:28 am

Thanks!

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23 Sherrie Guthrie July 10, 2012 at 10:12 am

Hilarious..and very true…see you there supportive undergarments and all :)

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24 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 11:11 am

Thanks so much Sherrie! Can’t wait to see you again!

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25 Kameron July 10, 2012 at 10:28 am

I am getting more excited every day! I cannot wait to see everyone and have a blast in NYC! I love your Canadian flag comment!

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26 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 11:11 am

Thanks Kameron! Can’t wait to see you!

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27 SassyModernMom July 10, 2012 at 11:08 am

LOVE!! My first BlogHer was last year and yet I also found myself hadning out the advice today on my blog. How funny is that! Can’t wait for BlogHer this year and can’t wait to see YOU!!!

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28 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 11:11 am

So excited!!

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29 Julie July 10, 2012 at 11:27 am

I love this list. And it’s snarkiness. Totally. Except you forgot to put pajama’s on the list. I might know this because I forgot mine once when sharing the room with another blogger. Let’s just say “awkward!” and that I won’t be forgetting them again. :)

Hope to meet you at BlogHer in just a few weeks!

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30 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 11:30 am

Hope to meet you too Julie – you’re on my must meet list!

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31 Jen @littlemissmocha July 10, 2012 at 11:45 am

This is hilarious – though not surprising because look who wrote it, lol! ; ) Must please to hang out more this year, alright?

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32 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 11:47 am

Yes please to hang with you often. And thank you!!

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33 erin margolin July 10, 2012 at 11:49 am

I loved this. As the newsiest of the BlogHer ’12 newbies, I appreciated all of your insights. Especially with the garbage bags, yo. I also thought I was the only one who dragged antibacterial wipes with me everywhere?

I’ll be sure to bring my Shades of Grey trilogy with me. Although that’ll take up valuable suitcase space. Hmmmm.

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34 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 11:52 am

Thanks Erin!! Germaphobes unite!

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35 Andrea B (@goodgirlgonered) July 10, 2012 at 11:49 am

Hope to meet you this year! My anti-tip for your tips is cab fare. Maybe because I’m a native NYer, I say, where ya goin’ that you need a cab? These feet are made for walkin’ — and the subways are EASY to navigate. If you get lost just tweet @goodgirlgonered and I’ll give you some tips or somehow come and get you. ;)

Seriously, tho – great and fun post! Clothing. I knew I was forgetting something!

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36 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 11:52 am

Thanks Andrea!

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37 christie o. tate July 10, 2012 at 11:50 am

This is so great. I need it desperately b/c it will be my first conference and I didn’t know about the Lysol wipes (not a germaphobe). HOpe to meet you in person. Thanks for all of this!

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38 christie o. tate July 10, 2012 at 11:51 am

I hope we can meet at the conference. I needed every word of this. Will Bruce be there this year????? Say yes, please say yes.

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39 Elaine July 10, 2012 at 11:55 am

Is is bad to say that Bruce Jenner looks like a woman in that photo?

Great advice, my friend. Getting SO excited to hug you and smooch your face!! ;-D

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40 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 11:59 am

Smooches coming at you in less than three weeks!

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41 mumby July 10, 2012 at 11:56 am

love your tips! wasn’t Juice with Bruce weird? I did not forget to grab his ass though..

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42 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 11:58 am

Juice with Bruce – ahahaha. Too funny.

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43 Jenni Chiu July 10, 2012 at 12:28 pm

I will SO see you at the hotel bar late at night.
Bring Colin Firth.

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44 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 12:29 pm

I like you so much, I’m willing to share. See you there!

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45 Jessica July 10, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Going for the first time and this is exactly what I needed, thank you!

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46 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Thanks so much Jessica!

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47 Tammi @ My Organized Chaos July 10, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Ha! LOVE these tips, Maria. Can’t wait to see you there, we shall have fun in NYC!!
;)

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48 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Thanks Tammi! Looking forward to seeing you too!

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49 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] July 10, 2012 at 1:59 pm

The most important tip of this whole post: wear comfy shoes.

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50 Nancy (@ Spinning My Plates) July 10, 2012 at 2:22 pm

I went in 2009. I highly recommend packing a surge protector — not because there are power issues at the hotel, it’s just that there are never enough outlets in your room…the conference rooms. etc. Slap your business card on it and/or sharpie your name on it, though. Or else it’ll disappear.

Surge protectors make you almost as popular as Mormon girls with extra drink tickets.

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51 MARIA July 10, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Great advice! Thanks!

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52 Vicki @ Crowning Victoria July 10, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Beautiful! This newbie appreciates your sage advice!!

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53 Tiffany July 11, 2012 at 9:23 pm

LOVE it!! :) Thanks for the heads up!

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54 JennySue Makeup July 14, 2012 at 3:07 pm

You are damn hilarious. I am SO thankful I found your blog!! This convention sounds like fun, and OMG I can’t believe you got your pic with Bruce Jenner- so cool.

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55 MARIA July 14, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Thanks so much!!

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56 Paula Schuck July 14, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Hi maria! This is super helpful. Thank you! I found it funny too.

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57 Terra Heck July 18, 2012 at 12:59 am

I’ve never been to BlogHer but would love to go someday. That’s quite a comprehensive checklist to go by! Hope you have a rockin’ good time at BlogHer!

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58 Alissa July 18, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Love this post. Hope we run into each other at BlogHer this year.

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59 Fadra July 18, 2012 at 1:00 pm

This is my third BlogHer and I have NEVER been to Sparklecorn. I’m scared to dance in public. I guess I should get over that, huh? And look! I was following your “travel in pairs” advice before I even read this!

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60 Vikki July 20, 2012 at 10:50 am

I am so jealous……..

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61 Beth August 7, 2012 at 11:12 am

Great post! BlogHer was awesome this year!!

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