Sep
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Stay At Home Mommy Limbo

by MARIA on September 16, 2012

The kids have been back to school for two weeks now and I cannot lie, I’m kind of lost

Since having kids, I’ve been the main non-working parent with them at all times. My oldest is almost nine which means almost nine years of having at least one child with me all the time, every day.

Although, the last two years both kids have been in school, the little one was in half day Kindergarten from 1:00-3:30. Other than that, we were still the two Musketeers.

And then this year she started Grade one, which means both kids are now in school full time.

Hence, my Stay At Home Mommy Limbo.

I’m a Stay At Home Mom with no kids “at home”.

So now what?

Am I still a stay at home when the kids are both in school? Can I even call myself that now?

I haven’t worked outside the home in NINE years. Last time I worked, I was a spring chicken, and now I’m OLD. Do old chickens even get hired these days? Can I find work that I can do at home? What can I even do at this point?

Conundrums are fun.

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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Cass September 17, 2012 at 12:28 am

I honestly cannot fathom what it’s like to be that bored. I find so many hobbies, projects, and causes to spend my time on that I NEED the hours while they’re at school in order to contribute my part or accomplish anything towards some of these objectives. I’ve never worked so hard in my life while not actually working. No excuse for being a bored stay-at-home parent, sorry.

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2 MARIA September 17, 2012 at 9:51 am

Actually my post wasn’t about being bored – I have tons to do at home. It was about dealing with my identity now as a stay at home mom when both kids are at school. It’s also about how difficult it is to find work that can work with my hours while the kids are at school. Because my husband is away on business 75% of the time, I need to be 100% flexible in case they are sick, etc.

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3 Fadra September 17, 2012 at 10:35 am

I don’t think she said bored. I think she said lost. And it’s a feeling and sentiment that echoes true for many of us. I’ve been “at home” for 3 years but never once called myself a stay at home mom because I’ve always been working towards something. But even with my one and only in school, it’s a different feeling.

Just because someone doesn’t live your life or have your feelings really doesn’t give you much authority to judge someone else. If you can’t say something nice…

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4 Chantal September 17, 2012 at 10:45 am

Umm… I think you missed the point, Cass! ;)

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5 Carabee September 17, 2012 at 7:40 am

This will be next year. I already have anxiety about it.

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6 Toni Snearly September 17, 2012 at 7:50 am

It’s hard :( I went back to work, part time, when Jacob was in kindergarten. Though, we started home schooling after that and fortunately, I had a job across the street from my house where he just came along with me. People are so quick to tell you to go back to work, but it’s not easy to find a job that will fit your children’s school hours. I know people manage, but I wasn’t one of those people. I vowed to never sacrifice time with my child for money. I may be half broke…but I have a great relationship with my kid <3

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7 Maria September 17, 2012 at 8:01 am

I hear you. I’m at a crossroads at the moment, trying to figure out what to do next. I hope you figure out what you’re looking for soon!

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8 MARIA September 17, 2012 at 9:40 am

Thanks Maria, you too.

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9 Cass September 17, 2012 at 10:06 am

Then this is a cool time for you–you get to find other interests to pursue and choose what else defines you. I’ve never let being a SAHM define me, though that’s probably because it’s not by choice that I am a SAHM. But now that the kids are back in school it’s an opportunity to be something other than Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! for a few hours a day.

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10 Fadra September 17, 2012 at 10:36 am

We’re starting the 4th full week of school. I’d say every week starts with a full on existential crisis. I don’t have the same situation but somehow the “not enough time for blogging” has turned into – is this where I really want to spend my time?

I just said to my husband this morning (no lie) that I’ve been waking up and the same thing keeps echoing in my head. Help! I’m lost!

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11 Sue September 17, 2012 at 10:39 am

I am looking for work now that both kids are in school full time. It is not easy. If I could I would just stay home as well. I love being here for my kids. My husband is always working as well. So it is so hard to find a job that will be fit my schedule.

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12 Cass September 17, 2012 at 10:51 am

I didn’t think I was judging or being not nice. I said I couldn’t relate (the link on Facebook asked, “Can you relate?”), and then I was encouraging of finding other interests. Apologies to anyone who was offended.

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13 Parent Club September 17, 2012 at 9:19 pm

I’ve been a SAHM for 9 years too. And was exactly in your place where both kids were in full time school and my husband was asking me “um…don’t you think 2 incomes would be helpful?!”. It’s a challenge bc at our house – it’s on me to be home for sick days, pd days, school breaks – and finding a job that would allow all that flexibility was tough.

What about a social media manager (work at home)? – you’d be great at that!

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14 MARIA September 17, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Caroline, that is exactly the situation I find myself in. The extra income would be fantastic but I’m very limited b/c I still need to be there for the kids too. Finding work that I can from home is much harder than it sounds – especially not living in a bigger city.

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