Feb
07

10 Reasons You Should Be Glad I Didn’t Blog In My 20s

by MARIA on February 7, 2013

  • I lived at home, and the stories about my possible “death by family suffocation/obligation” would have been bountiful.
  • You would have been overwhelmed with selfies of me at church, purposefully photobombing the priest.
  • I had a perm.  AND bangs.
  • You would have heard about one of my old jobs where the boss had a toe thumb. He had lost a thumb in an accident so he had his TOE surgically removed and put on his hand, as his new thumb. ON PURPOSE. Let’s just say that every time I saw him, all I did was stare at his toe thumb. I think I lasted a month before I had to quit – toe thumb nightmares were keeping me up at night.
  • You were happily spared photo heavy posts involving the many hideous bridesmaid catastrophes I had to wear. Suck it Raw silk and dyed to match shoes!
  • Many, many pictures of me and my mom in our pjs, watching Sex in the City and giggling like hyenas.
  • You were spared regular posts titled, “OMG, we had the best time last night, but don’t tell my mom” and “Oops, I kissed a guy again but it’s ok because he was cute” and “I have a crush on one of the waiters at my family’s restaurant. Again.”
  • You would have enjoyed the lovely evolution of alcohol I would enjoy, then barely stomach, and then permanently ban. It went something like this: Wildberry coolers, Peach Schnapps, Jack Daniels, anything mint, Mike’s hard lemonade and ouzo.
  • Recipes would have included The Perfect Coke Float, and that’s it.
  • You were spared fashion posts involving what to wear with black, super wide-leg pants and why thong underwear is comfortable.  

This post was inspired by MamaKat’s writing workshop and originated from Wendi Aarons.

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