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Questions I Probably Should Have Asked During The Dating Process

11th March 2013

In RETROSPECT, I think I forgot to ask the husband some very important questions during the dating process.

Things like:

  • Do you know what a hamper is? If so, do you know to put your dirty gitch in the hamper and not on the floor next to it?
  • After you have successfully wooed me, will you continue to spare me your gas?
  • Do you understand that buying no-name cheese should be punishable by death, or at least a punch in the junk?
  • How do you feel about your wife owning multiple handbags? How do you feel about buying said handbags?
  • You know I was kidding when I said I was “outdoorsy” right?
  • How do you feel about reality television?
  • Will you be that husband that douses every single meal with so much hot sauce that it literally burns my nostrils from across the table?
  • How do you feel about diamonds?
  • Do you promise to man handle me more often than the XBOX?
  • Can you cook, and by cook I mean, do you promise to get Chinese takeout at least twice a month?
  • How do you feel about handing over all rights to the remote control?
  • You understand I’m actually allergic to camping, right?

Retrospection is a bitch.

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12 thoughts on “Questions I Probably Should Have Asked During The Dating Process

  1. tennille

    No mention of spider eradication. I really feel that you have left a gaping hole in the whole insect department. And crickets, they for some illogical reason hate me. Did you know they bite? Probably not as the average person has not been bitten by one, let alone withstood multiple attacks (okay so the second time was really a bandaid gone rogue but that is another story) I need a man who will wup some cricket a** for me.

    Reply

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