Mar
11

Questions I Probably Should Have Asked During The Dating Process

by MARIA on March 11, 2013

In RETROSPECT, I think I forgot to ask the husband some very important questions during the dating process.

Things like:

  • Do you know what a hamper is? If so, do you know to put your dirty gitch in the hamper and not on the floor next to it?
  • After you have successfully wooed me, will you continue to spare me your gas?
  • Do you understand that buying no-name cheese should be punishable by death, or at least a punch in the junk?
  • How do you feel about your wife owning multiple handbags? How do you feel about buying said handbags?
  • You know I was kidding when I said I was “outdoorsy” right?
  • How do you feel about reality television?
  • Will you be that husband that douses every single meal with so much hot sauce that it literally burns my nostrils from across the table?
  • How do you feel about diamonds?
  • Do you promise to man handle me more often than the XBOX?
  • Can you cook, and by cook I mean, do you promise to get Chinese takeout at least twice a month?
  • How do you feel about handing over all rights to the remote control?
  • You understand I’m actually allergic to camping, right?

Retrospection is a bitch.

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