Things That Need To Be Invented ASAP

18th March 2013

I’m sitting here trying to convince myself to deal with the laundry. And then I thought, hey if only I had paid attention during math and science, (turns out we really do need that crap), I could have invented something to do it for me. Actually, I would invent many things.

  1. Laundry that puts itself away. Obviously.
  2. Starbucks Delivery with 24 hrs/day availability.
  3. Along the same vein – Caffeine IVs. #pun intended
  4. The invisible punch – for those you want to punch from afar and without consequence.
  5. Cute pets that eat dust bunnies to survive.
  6. Ice cream that doesn’t melt.
  7. Dogs that don’t poop.
  8. Dog poop that cannot be stepped on.
  9. The elusive money tree.
  10. The pillow that is always cold – no need to ever flip it over.
  11. Doctors that see you on time.
  12. Instant lobotomies – for those who need instant lobotomies.
  13. The Cardigan Club – A new cardigan at your door, every month. Seriously, this one could ACTUALLY happen.
  14. The Man Cold Bubble for when the man has a cold and you just don’t want to deal with that shit.
  15. Sons of Anarchy in 3D, but only when Jax is on screen, and only if he’s shirtless/pantless/all of the above.

What am I missing?

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8 thoughts on “Things That Need To Be Invented ASAP

  1. Chantal

    A pet that eats dust bunnies, now that is a pet I would be willing to get. And I haven’t watched SOA yet but thanks to that photo I think I have to start. Like NOW!

    1. MARIA Post author

      Oh Chantal, watch it if only for the Jax character. Also prepare yourself for massive amounts of blood and violence – also, you get to see Jax’s ass. WIN

      1. Kathy

        Yeah Bill has one. Only thing is it smells funky at first and it literally weighs 20 lbs. Excellent for pillow fights where the goal is to knock someone one permanently.

        1. MARIA Post author

          Ahahahaha. Ok, now I’m definitely getting it. One way to stop the husband from snoring – knock him out, literally.


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