Category Archives: Dirty Reads

RELEASE DAY: RULE by C.D. Reiss

27th August 2015

rule-cd-reiss

Book Three in The Corruption Series. You must read SPIN and RUIN before reading RULE!

Theresa and Antonio.

They’ve been through hell. Antonio has a price on his head for turning his back on a marriage deal, and Theresa has no intention of turning her back on him. They’re devoted and strong, ready for anything….

A Love Tested To The Limit

And then, someone from Antonio’s past reappears. Someone who can give him everything he ever wanted, and who can shake them to their very core.

#livetogether

#dietogether

In this stunning conclusion to the USA Today Bestselling series, Antonio and Theresa will have their passion, their devotion and their very will to live tested.

RULE MAIL

NOW AVAILABLE!

Amazon US – http://amzn.to/1ST673M

Amazon UK: http://amzn.to/1GSN58e

iBooks – http://apple.co/1E2iW7j

Nook – http://bit.ly/1ItjaUH

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

cd reiss new bio

CD Reiss is a USA Today and Amazon bestseller. She still has to chop wood and carry water, which was buried in the fine print. Her lawyer is working it out with God but in the meantime, if you call and she doesn’t pick up, she’s at the well, hauling buckets.

Born in New York City, she moved to Hollywood, California to get her master’s degree in screenwriting from USC. In case you want to know, that went nowhere, but it did embed TV story structure in her head well enough for her to take a big risk on a TV series structured erotic series called Songs of Submission. It’s about a kinky billionaire hung up on his ex-wife, an ingenue singer with a wisecracking mouth; art, music and sin in the city of Los Angeles.

Critics have dubbed the books “poetic,” “literary,” and “hauntingly atmospheric,” which is flattering enough for her to put it in a bio, but embarrassing enough for her not to tell her husband, or he might think she’s some sort of braggart who’s too good to give the toilets a once-over every couple of weeks or chop a cord of wood.

If you meet her in person, you should call her Christine.

rule teaser 1

Dirty Books For The Ladies – Part Three

5th July 2012

This post is brought to you by Ryan Gosling – just because.

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You may or may not love the 50 Shades of Grey books, but regardless, they’ve clearly helped catapult erotica and romance reading back into the mainstream spotlight lately.

I don’t actually have any stats to back this up by the way, but it’s all people seem to be reading these days.

Also probably not true – I just personally know many a pervert.

Anywhooooo….

Hopefully, you’ve read my first and second posts about some smuterotica to read (and the scary ones to avoid). I’ve had fun reviewing some of these books (my husband has too and he hasn’t had to read a damn thing.) As I’ve said before, I’m a fast reader, so I can easily read one of these in a couple of hours or so. When I get back into the workforce, I’m going to list that under talents no one needs to know about.

So here are some recent ones I’ve read – I will tell you that none of these will make your eyeballs bleed or run in search of a brain exorcism. I would say they qualify as more romance than smuterotica, but with just the right amount of dirty.

The Sullivans Series by Bella Andre

These include: The Look of Love (Book 1), From This Moment On (Book 2), Can’t Help Falling in Love (Book 3), I Only Have Eyes For You (Book 4) and If You Were Mine (Book 5), with Book 6 coming in the fall. These books are about some very wealthy (they are always wealthy), good looking (always hot) siblings that are part of the Sullivan family. Each book follows one of the siblings who fall for an equally hot individual who they never thought they would end up with, but they were just that irresistible. Yes, they all follow the exact same formula, but then many of these books do so if you enjoy this genre, I’m sure you’ve come to grips with this already. Nothing in these books will make you want to throw the book across the room (ie. Comfort Object syndrome as I call it), so that’s a plus. They’re actually well written, and sweet and cheesy and just the right amount of dirty, so you should read them.

About Last Night by Ruthie Knox

I really liked this book. It’s the story of Cath and City (rich hot guy – yes they are all rich hot guys). I like the way they meet, I like the family dynamic and I really like that City is a closet artist. I don’t want to give any of it away but City reminds me of Colin Firth, and if you know me at all, you know Colin and I go way back. Ruthie Knox is a great writer and I love that she wrote Cath as a strong, independent, somewhat damaged but really creative and smart woman. This is a must read.

Ride With Me by Ruthie Knox

I enjoyed Ruthie’s book so much that I looked to see if she had any others in print, and found Ride With Me. This one is about Tom, a HOT DUDE on a bike who rides the TransAmerica Trail with a female companion that his sister finds for him online. Again, I don’t want to give too much away but I can tell you this: there should be at least one motorcycle storyline in every dirty book out there. There is no denying it  – bad boys are hot. Rich bad boys – very hot.  Rich, hot bad boys – only found in a book so enjoy them while you can.

The Redhead Series by Alice Clayton

The Unidentified Redhead and The Redhead Revealed (a third is on the way) are FUNNY which sold me right away. These are the most realistic romance, smuterotica that I’ve read so far. I may have laughed out loud a few times which thoroughly confused my husband, proven when he asked “Are you reading smut that is actually funny?” Yes, yes I am. These are a great read, and make sure to check back because I’ll have an upcoming review/giveaway on my blog soon!

The Fever Series by Karen Marie Moning

I actually read this series because Alice Clayton (yes, we’re besties now) suggested I read them on Twitter. There are five books in the series: DarkFever, BloodFever, FaeFever, DreamFever and ShadowFever. Personally, I would not consider these erotica or even romance, although there are elements of both in some parts of some of the books. I would definitely say it fits more of a fantasy/mystery genre, with some dirty creature sexy time thrown in. If you’re into creatures and such, you will really enjoy this series.

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So tell me – have you read any good romance smuterotica lately??

Dirty Books for the Ladies – Part Two

24th May 2012

Today’s dirty books are brought to you with some Colin Firth. Colin – the man who makes everything better. (Also, dirtier….in my own head.)

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I’ve been a bit M.I.A. but I’ve had to catch up on my dirty book reading.

My last post about dirty reads included a few great ones that I still recommend. (I think every Fifty Shades reader should read Bared to You and compare them and then let me know what you thought).

Since then, I’ve read a few more that I wanted to share. I also feel that I must tell you that many of these books just happen to have a recurring man-man-woman love triangle situation happening. For those who don’t know, this is what we call a MENAGE.

Super fun times.

(Please note: the closest I’ve come to a menage is me in bed with my husband and an obscenely large body pillow. Best menage ever.)

And now, more dirty book reads for you – because I care.

Beauty’s Punishment and Beauty’s Release by Anne Rice

These are book two and three of the Sleeping Beauty trilogy by Anne Rice, and these books are just INSANE. The first one was really good and well written, and don’t get me wrong the last two are technically well written but they are what dirty nightmares are made of. I had said this about the third book on Facebook recently, “This book is just cray cray. I’ve never read the word phallus and horse tail so much in my life. Also, all the man love, woman love, man man love, woman man man love, slave slave love, men as ponies love is making me want to reread 50 shades. Anne Rice’s brain is a scary place.” Also, I would hazard a guess that most of the characters in these books experience immense pain when sitting. Ahem.

On The Island – by Tracey Garvis Graves

Technically, this isn’t an erotic read at all. It’s more like a romantic adventure that I would never want to experience. Think Castaway minus Tom Hanks plus a whole lot of sexual tension. However, it was actually a good, and very sweet read. It was also a nice break for my brain – after the disturbing Anne Rice attack.

Bound & Beast – by Sophie Oak

When I started reading these books, I didn’t realize that their subtitle was, “A Faery Story”. I probably wouldn’t have read them if I had – I’m not one to jump in and read how vampires get it on. However, Bound is mostly about a human who happens upon another “plane” and encounters two hot non-human twins that live in a forest among gnomes and trolls and creatures. And there is also a pervy vampire that happens to be the twins’ friend and the main character in the second book in the series, Beast. If you’re into the erotic lives of mythical non-humans, and yes they get it on like the rest of us, these are a good read. These also solve the mystery of whether there is intelligent life elsewhere – the answer is YES, and they are getting it on like rabbits.

The Siren series by Sophie Oak

There are five books in this series – Small Town Siren, Siren in the City, Siren Enslaved, Siren Beloved, and Siren in Waiting. They all tell their own story but they are all based in the same small town, they all have characters that move in and out of the books and they are all about cowboys. I can tell you this – cowboys should really be in every erotic read because cowboys make everything better. I’m all for cowboys getting along – especially with each other. Also, the recurring theme in all of these is what Sophie Oak calls “Menage Amour”, or three way love, with a side of dominant/submissive sexy time. Yes you must read all five, and they are all fantastic, and did I mention the cowboys?

I should also mention:

  • You have to read erotica with a sense of humour in mind or you may never get off the couch.
  • Cowboys need to be involved during all sexy time everywhere.
  • There is a whole lot of menage going on – all the time. If your neighbour isn’t answering the doorbell? Menage. Your best friend had to cancel your coffee date? MENAGE.
  • Reading dirty books makes you smarter.

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What have you read lately? Anything I need to read??

Dirty Books For The Ladies – What To Read After Fifty Shades

2nd May 2012

So I read Fifty Shades and blogged about it, but then at this point, who hasn’t.

More importantly, look how handsome Christian is:

Dreamy.

Anyway, after much thought, I decided to read other dirty books for research purposes. Ahem.

Someone has to do it.

I’ve also been reading Angie’s blog (she’s an addict, yo) and her posts about her “smut” recommendations gave me some great suggestions on where to start.

Here’s what I’ve read so far:

The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by Anne Rice 

This is a trilogy but I’ve only read the first to date. I refer to this book as “medieval crazy, sexy time naked slavery”.  It’s actually a good read, and very well written – definitely plan to read the other two books in the trilogy. These are considered the high quality erotica for you erotica snobs out there.

Bared to You by Sylvia Day

Bared to You is actually kind of similar to Fifty Shades except that it’s much better written. The main characters are Ava (she’s one thousand times less annoying than Anastasia) and Gideon Cross (yes, another rich hot dude – see photo above) and who doesn’t want to sleep with a rich dude named Gideon, seriously. READ IT.

Comfort Object by Annabel Joseph

This one is DIRTY with a capital D. You’ll need to take breaks where you rub your eyeballs with kittens and rainbows to even out the nasty. It is going to make you squirmy and not in a good way. It’s good but really, really bad. Yes, I am a professional book reviewer – why do you ask?

Caressa’s Knees by Annabel Joseph

This is another book (meant to be read second) that features some of the characters from Comfort Object, however the similarities end there. It’s actually pretty good but not as depraved as Comfort Object. And it features classical music and a cello so it will make you cultured – in a dirty way.

Odalisque by Annabel Joseph

Another book (meant to be read third) featuring some of the characters of the other two books by Annabel Joseph. It’s VERY different from the other two again and it’s crazy time in terms of how far fetched it is in parts but I’m pretty sure that’s a prerequisite in these books. I did enjoy it however.

Mercy by Annabel Joeph

Hated it – it involves a ballerina, and I’m sorry but ballerinas have no place in lady smut. BECAUSE THEY’RE BALLERINAS!!!

Captive by Leda Swann

This should be called BORED TO TEARS because that’s how I felt reading it.

Beautiful Disaster by Jamie McGuire

Seriously, I couldn’t even get through this one. I might try again but if I have to work hard (no pun intended) to get through it, I’m out.

Rock Me by Cherrie Lynn

I actually really liked this one because it’s more story than dirty and it involves tattoo parlours and good girls and who doesn’t love that combination.

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Honestly, books considered lady porn (and please stop calling it mommy porn – mommies can’t claim EVERYTHING) are a quick read, ironically. They take me a day to read and by day, I mean maybe three hours or so. Books tend to be a quick read when there isn’t that much to process – dirty things are happening, turn the page.

Also, something I’ve learned about Erotica books in general:

  • Every single one ends with a happy ending. Every single one.
  • “I’m yours” is in every book and something you should never say to your husband or he’ll expect you to do what he wants.
  • A lot of rich dudes are really sick when it comes to what rocks their socks.
  • If you read too many of these books in a row, you might dream of Thor and how cute your Thor babies will be.

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So while I continue my research, I would love to know if you’ve read any of these? Any suggestions on what I should read next?

Fifty Shades of Grey – A Review

11th April 2012

Let me start by saying that when I picture Christian Grey – I see this guy:

That’s my vote, Hollywood.

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I read all three books over the Easter weekend.

It’s not that hard (that’s what she said) – they’re a quick read.

So without giving much away because I don’t want to spoil it for you, I actually liked these books. I went in knowing that I wasn’t reading Anais Nin or Henry Miller (erotica for snobs), but a fun, probably dirty/sexy/pervy read, and that’s exactly what it was. Some parts are hilariously farfetched but who cares when they’re balanced out with some dirty goodness.

Yes, they have problems – the writing in parts, is just bad. Spelling mistakes and bad grammar were everywhere. Were these actually edited before pubishing? If they were, that editor needs to be fired or get new glasses. Anastasia Steele, the main female character says, “Holy Shit, Holy Cow, Holy Hell, and Holy F*ck” constantly, and at the most ridiculous moments of this book. Seriously, one way to improve this book – erase every instance of those words. Already better.

Another example of a bad choice of words:  MEWL and MEWLING and MEWLED — if I never see these words again unless referring to a CAT, it would be fine by me. (Insert groans here – and not the good kind)

Also, when you use the word “ARGH!” to describe a response to hot guy giving you the sexy time, I don’t think sexy, I think pirate. Not good.

Finally, “WHOA” needs to never ever be used in your dirty writings people – because all I see is Joey and Blossom. Just wrong.

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Christian Grey, the main hot dude, is kind of a heartbreaker in this book. Yes, he’s rich and insanely good looking and perhaps a tad bossy (ahem), but he has a tragic soul and a heartbreaking background. It makes sense that he was written this way when you see how his relationship develops, but at parts, I felt sad for him. I may have teared up a couple of times as well. The sexiest part of this guy? He responds to your email promptly, answers your phone calls even when he’s at work, and he plays the piano while wearing sexy pyjama bottoms. How sexy is that? This person is clearly NOT REAL. Oh, and he has magic fingers.

He might make your lady bits tingle, and if he doesn’t, you need to get that checked by a doctor, a.s.a.p.

Yes, there are other characters in the book, like the driver and the cook and the slutty architect but these books are really all about Mr. Grey. Oh, and Ms. Steele, but her mewling and Holy Cow talk only gets in the way of your dirty imagination, so try to focus on him. These are meant to be a fun read – for the beach, or when your husband chooses his XBOX over you.

Lady porn. It’s what’s for dinner.

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What did you think?

 

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