Warning: This soon-to-be Birthday Girl is HALLUCINATING
My birthday is coming up this week, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. It’s going to be the first one I celebrate after reaching my scary age last year (35), and yes, I use the term “celebrate” lightly. If I don’t make my own cake I don’t get one, and my little people find the cake aspect of a birthday, the most thrilling. Hence, the cake is IN! I usually have big plans in my head, but in the end it ends up being a dinner out and/or a movie with the dude. In my pre-baby days, we would go away on my birthday – theatre in Toronto, shopping in Syracuse, museums in Ottawa. But these days, dragging the little people out-of-town just for my birthday, takes too much effort; so home it is. But just think of it this way, I tell myself, closer to home means more money for some fabulous gifts for myself (yes this is where the hallucinating begins). And so without further ado – I give you my 2009 Birthday List.
Starbucks is a weakness of mine – I go often (daily). There are 5 locations in town, and they all know my drink the minute they see me. In fact, often its already made for me before I get to the front of the line to pay for it. I saw this at the store a couple of days ago and thought it was so cute – Starbucks gift card in Barbie size – YES please!
I saw this movie in the theatre, and wasn’t too sure what to expect, because I had not read the book. However, I loved this movie – thought it was great. I laughed, I cried, I was generally moved. Delightfully crazy dog. Yes, I could watch it again, so here he is on my list.
I’m all about compact products these days – with all the stuff already taking up every corner of my home, its a necessity. I want one of these because I’m always missing the action. By the time I lug my huge video camera out (it takes tapes people), the moment is lost. This beauty I can carry in my handbag, and delight in its pretty colors and usefulness. Hope the man is taking notes.
We used to have a waffle maker. It was this clunky one that we got for a wedding present from a very generous (read: CHEAP) wedding guest. It was impossible to clean, and made a terrible waffle, and being fed up with it one day, I threw it in the garbage (I’m NOTHING if not dramatic!) So a wafflemaker is on the list. I really want it so that I can make my little people some delightful waffles that don’t require a toaster.
Babies and the subsequent crazy hormone issues I now have, have not been kind to this old lady’s skin, so I really want one of these beauties. I saw it on Oprah on one of her Christmas shows (you know the one – you want to be there, but you can’t be, so you hate everyone who is, and you cry at all the crap you will never have your hands on.) Familiar? No? OK then. Anywho, my pores need this brush.
As you may know by now, I need to get my body back to pre-baby form, and its going to take nothing short of a miracle (Translation: proper diet and exercise). So, I would love a little help with that and BODYBUGG is the answer for me. It’s that little gadget that is seen on all those contestants on The Biggest Loser. It will tell me how many calories I’m burning while I sit on my butt and Twitter. This is a DEFINITE necessity.
I’m a stay-at-home mom – don’t I deserve pretty accessories?? I think so too, so I am putting this lovely on my list because I know no matter what I say or do, I will not actually get this for my birthday. My husband doesn’t understand the importance of a hot handbag. But every time I stare at it, I will be reminded of the gift I would have received had I married into the Coach family. Does the Coach family have some cute, maybe GREEK heirs? Does anyone in the Coach family need their cars washed? I’m sure I could hire someone to get that done for you, Coach people.
AND FINALLY, THE ONE THING THAT I HAVE WANTED FROM THE MOMENT I LAID MY EYES ON IT. (No, no that MACBOOK I also want but who’s kidding who) – ITS THE:
The Amazon Kindle – the most delightful creation of our time (in my own head – but yes it is). I want this thing so bad that I am willing to do anything to get it. Well, if anything means saying pretty please a few times, and jumping up and down like a crazy person, then yes I will do THAT! I will shine your shoes, and make you a lovely bean salad, and clean my kitchen for a Kindle. I will babysit your dog, and sweep up the hail and eat some celery for a KINDLE. I will even consider, but cannot guarantee, that I would attempt to kill the next centipede I ran into, if I got a KINDLE (yeah, no guarantees on this one). I’m not one to ask for things, the thought of it kind of embarrasses me, but I am willing to go to my shameful self if that meant I would get a KINDLE. Is this working yet? Am I too old to ask my dad to buy it for me? That’s sad right? The funny thing is – he would totally buy it for me. I sound like I’m twelve. I miss being twelve. The hardest thing about being twelve was which lollipop to lick first. Boo. Birthdays suck. Holy Crap I am freakin’ old.
Leave your convincing arguments in my comments – work with me people! I need your help. I also really like to read your comments, so feel free to indulge me. It is my birthday after all.