Tag Archives: Fifty Shades of Grey Books

Fifty Shades of Grey – A Review

11th April 2012

Let me start by saying that when I picture Christian Grey – I see this guy:

That’s my vote, Hollywood.

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I read all three books over the Easter weekend.

It’s not that hard (that’s what she said) – they’re a quick read.

So without giving much away because I don’t want to spoil it for you, I actually liked these books. I went in knowing that I wasn’t reading Anais Nin or Henry Miller (erotica for snobs), but a fun, probably dirty/sexy/pervy read, and that’s exactly what it was. Some parts are hilariously farfetched but who cares when they’re balanced out with some dirty goodness.

Yes, they have problems – the writing in parts, is just bad. Spelling mistakes and bad grammar were everywhere. Were these actually edited before pubishing? If they were, that editor needs to be fired or get new glasses. Anastasia Steele, the main female character says, “Holy Shit, Holy Cow, Holy Hell, and Holy F*ck” constantly, and at the most ridiculous moments of this book. Seriously, one way to improve this book – erase every instance of those words. Already better.

Another example of a bad choice of words:  MEWL and MEWLING and MEWLED — if I never see these words again unless referring to a CAT, it would be fine by me. (Insert groans here – and not the good kind)

Also, when you use the word “ARGH!” to describe a response to hot guy giving you the sexy time, I don’t think sexy, I think pirate. Not good.

Finally, “WHOA” needs to never ever be used in your dirty writings people – because all I see is Joey and Blossom. Just wrong.

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Christian Grey, the main hot dude, is kind of a heartbreaker in this book. Yes, he’s rich and insanely good looking and perhaps a tad bossy (ahem), but he has a tragic soul and a heartbreaking background. It makes sense that he was written this way when you see how his relationship develops, but at parts, I felt sad for him. I may have teared up a couple of times as well. The sexiest part of this guy? He responds to your email promptly, answers your phone calls even when he’s at work, and he plays the piano while wearing sexy pyjama bottoms. How sexy is that? This person is clearly NOT REAL. Oh, and he has magic fingers.

He might make your lady bits tingle, and if he doesn’t, you need to get that checked by a doctor, a.s.a.p.

Yes, there are other characters in the book, like the driver and the cook and the slutty architect but these books are really all about Mr. Grey. Oh, and Ms. Steele, but her mewling and Holy Cow talk only gets in the way of your dirty imagination, so try to focus on him. These are meant to be a fun read – for the beach, or when your husband chooses his XBOX over you.

Lady porn. It’s what’s for dinner.

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What did you think?

 

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