Tag Archives: lego

What To Take In Case of a Emergency

18th August 2010

Do you ever ask yourself what you would take with you in case of an Armageddon/Apocalypse/holy shit someone just blew up the Starbucks kind of emergency?

Too dramatic?

Okay, well let’s say you had to leave your house real quick because of a you’re-avoiding-the-in-laws kind of emergency (yes to some, this equals the apocalypse). What would you take with you in case of  a fake emergency?

While you ponder, let me tell you what I would take.

First, let’s set aside the obvious take-withs:

  • Kids – legally required to do so – also they are too cute to leave behind.
  • Husband – full-time chauffeur – also legally obligated.
  • Handbag – contains cash and 400 lip glosses that I can’t live without.
  • Cell – because the urge to tweet is STRONG.

Obvious stuff now in hand, what about those other can’t-live-without items?

In case of emergency, I won’t forget:

  • A lamp – in case I need to see something in the dark.
  • Bacon – because protein is always important when running from aliens (and in-laws).
  • Bandaids – to help in reattaching that limb lost when running from that meteor (or in-law).
  • Perfume – because smelling like a daisy is always a lovely thing.
  • A pen and paper – to make a list of things I probably should have brought in case of that emergency, that just happens to be happening while I’m making said list.
  • Workout dvd – for those need-to-tone-your-thigh moments.
  • Lego – in case I need something painful to step on when I happen to be barefoot.
  • Starbucks card – because if I don’t have access to my daily latte, it might as well be the apocalypse.
  • Photos of my loved ones – VERY important – DO NOT leave behind.
  • Tape – to tape said beloved photos to the ceiling (for. safe. keeping)

I am so prepared now.

What will you take?

What I’ve Learned From….Living with Little People

20th November 2009

(By Little People, I mean my kids and not ACTUAL little people)

Kids teach us so much. You may not even realize it, but every moment you interact with them, you are learning – about them, and about yourself. But once your children get old enough and big enough to move around your home freely, independently and with purpose – its a whole other set of rules. Prepare to be schooled!

What I’ve learned from little people:

  1. I will NEVER have a clean house again. (At least not for more than an hour at a time)
  2. I have learned every possible word that can be used to describe one’s bodily functions (according to little people), and evidently, every single one is absolutely hysterical (to them).
  3. I have become their human barf bib.
  4. Skid marks will never shock me again.
  5. Stepping on a piece of Lego in bare feet is equivalent to the pain experienced during childbirth.
  6. The joy of outright swearing will be lost forever, and replaced with spelling out your profanity. (D-A-M-M-I-T!)
  7. Once your kids can spell, you will be subjected to speaking in code and death stares (Believe me, not as effective, or enjoyable).
  8. Mealtimes will result in the loss of clumps of hair (Mommy’s, NOT the children’s).
  9. You will be tired forever and ever, and then some more.
  10. Toy commercials have devastating consequences to a mommy’s wallet.
  11. You will be wiping little people butts for YEARS, so get used to it.
  12. Caffeine is my best friend, and her name is Starbucks
  13. Parenting is riding the emotional roller coaster that never ends.
  14. Bedtime is the HAPPIEST time of the day.
  15. Have you seen the movie Groundhog Day? Oh right, you’re living it.

But its okay, don’t you worry. I have the answer baby.

You got to FAKE IT ‘TIL YOU MAKE IT!

It works.

Trust Me.

You are so going to love me – the threequel?

21st July 2009

Who would have thought that the demand to know more about me would bring about the need for a three-peat. Well, it has, and who am I if not the most delightful person you will never probably even meet. And so with this twinkle in my orbs, I give you 25 treats of knowledge – please do yourselves the favour and stare at the list and soak it all in. I happily share my oddities with that part of your brain which craves such deliciousness.

1. I LOVE to do crosswords. I love those Dell crossword books like nobody’s business. Oh, and I kick Sudoku’s ass. cross

2. If you want to treat me to Starbucks, you should order an Iced Quad Venti Non-Fat Latte (light ice).

3. I love the look of a man in a turtleneck (don’t ask me why!). I also love a vest on a man – HOT!

4. I used to collect things with Goofy on them. I have no idea why, and have no idea what started that, but its all still in my crawl space somewhere. I can’t get rid of it.

5. I would never leave my husband because it would take FOREVER to cut his face out of every picture he’s in. Who has that kind of time?

6. I am in DESPERATE need of a facial. A good one from someone who has a clue.

7. If my mother is looking straight at me, it is IMPOSSIBLE to lie to her. She makes me crack everytime.

8. I think those mothers who love EVERY MINUTE of being a mother are smoking something very delicious. I would like some please.

9. I love getting things in the mail: my mags, letters, cards, packages – you name it, I love it.

10. I really wanted this Panini press a couple years ago for Christmas, and yay I got it. Two years later, and she still sits all shiny and new in the box, because I have no idea what to make with it.

11. I hate when people drop by unannounced  these days. And if you do? Well, then let me introduce you to my lovely(hideous) penguin pyjamas (try hard not to dream about me).

12. I don’t have any surviving grandparents, and had only ever met two of the four. I miss my pappou (grandpa) the most. We wrote letters to each other for years, and he loved that I did that for him. I loved it too.

13. I like watching my older brother discussing politics, on television shows like MSNBC, CNBC, and Keith Olbermann because I can read his every mannerism. At the same time, it is just weird seeing your brother on television.

14. I wish I was a runner.

15. I have no talent that will ever make me rich or famous, other than being able to whistle and hum at the same time.dl Did you hear that David Letterman’s Stupid People Tricks segment producer?

16. I want the opportunity to kick Jon Gosselin square in the box.

17. I would kill to be in The Oprah Show audience, no matter what the topic.

18. My favorite junk foods: Doritos, Oreos and Black & White cookies. And white cake with white icing – yum.

19. Before babies, I used to sleep on my stomach, now I prefer to sleep on my back with one pillow under my head, and one covering my face. Heaven.

20. I’ve seen Madonna, Bob Dylan, Neil Diamond, The Barenaked Ladies, Jann Arden and others in concert – and if you’re wondering, Neil Diamond KILLED it. I only wish I could have been in the front row to get one of the wet ones he was passing out.

21. My absolute favorite show is The Office – adore it. I discovered it late (Season Four) – then went out, picked up all the DVD sets, and stayed up late after the kids slept to watch the entire thing. Its hard not to like – THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!!

key_art_the_office

22. I sometimes pretend like I don’t see someone I know, that I haven’t seen in a long time, not because I’m snubbing them, but because I’m afraid they will snub me.

23. I love to assemble my son’s new LEGO sets and Playmobil sets – seriously, enjoy it. However, if he dares to take them apart, it drives me crazy. Just ask yourself what the odds are that a 5 year old boy won’t take Lego apart – and you will understand why I just LOOK AWAY, AVOID and GRIT TEETH around any and all LEGO in my house.

24. When I was in NYC in 2005, after dinner one night, we ran into GUNTHER from “FRIENDS”. I went up to him and told him that he was way cuter in person. We ended up walking and talking with him for a good 20 minutes, before we went in opposite directions. He was the NICEST guy. No I didn’t have my damn camera. You see Rachel, GUNTHER was the good guy – they should go back and re-shoot that entire series with Rachel and Gunther totally hooking up, getting married and having their albino babies.

25. I dream about hiring someone full-time who would be responsible for the following: dusting, vacuuming, LAUNDRY, ironing, plucking my eyebrows, making dinner, Starbucks delivery, walking my imaginary dog, organizing my pens, toilet duty, making Giada dinners and flossing. I still hold out hope that this may happen.

Did you enjoy my three-peat? Who knows, you may get lucky, there may be a fourth installment. Would love to hear what you think! I love your comments, so feel free to share your little nuggets of information about yourself with me too!!


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