Tag Archives: reviews

Dirty Books for the Ladies – Part Two

24th May 2012

Today’s dirty books are brought to you with some Colin Firth. Colin – the man who makes everything better. (Also, dirtier….in my own head.)

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I’ve been a bit M.I.A. but I’ve had to catch up on my dirty book reading.

My last post about dirty reads included a few great ones that I still recommend. (I think every Fifty Shades reader should read Bared to You and compare them and then let me know what you thought).

Since then, I’ve read a few more that I wanted to share. I also feel that I must tell you that many of these books just happen to have a recurring man-man-woman love triangle situation happening. For those who don’t know, this is what we call a MENAGE.

Super fun times.

(Please note: the closest I’ve come to a menage is me in bed with my husband and an obscenely large body pillow. Best menage ever.)

And now, more dirty book reads for you – because I care.

Beauty’s Punishment and Beauty’s Release by Anne Rice

These are book two and three of the Sleeping Beauty trilogy by Anne Rice, and these books are just INSANE. The first one was really good and well written, and don’t get me wrong the last two are technically well written but they are what dirty nightmares are made of. I had said this about the third book on Facebook recently, “This book is just cray cray. I’ve never read the word phallus and horse tail so much in my life. Also, all the man love, woman love, man man love, woman man man love, slave slave love, men as ponies love is making me want to reread 50 shades. Anne Rice’s brain is a scary place.” Also, I would hazard a guess that most of the characters in these books experience immense pain when sitting. Ahem.

On The Island – by Tracey Garvis Graves

Technically, this isn’t an erotic read at all. It’s more like a romantic adventure that I would never want to experience. Think Castaway minus Tom Hanks plus a whole lot of sexual tension. However, it was actually a good, and very sweet read. It was also a nice break for my brain – after the disturbing Anne Rice attack.

Bound & Beast – by Sophie Oak

When I started reading these books, I didn’t realize that their subtitle was, “A Faery Story”. I probably wouldn’t have read them if I had – I’m not one to jump in and read how vampires get it on. However, Bound is mostly about a human who happens upon another “plane” and encounters two hot non-human twins that live in a forest among gnomes and trolls and creatures. And there is also a pervy vampire that happens to be the twins’ friend and the main character in the second book in the series, Beast. If you’re into the erotic lives of mythical non-humans, and yes they get it on like the rest of us, these are a good read. These also solve the mystery of whether there is intelligent life elsewhere – the answer is YES, and they are getting it on like rabbits.

The Siren series by Sophie Oak

There are five books in this series – Small Town Siren, Siren in the City, Siren Enslaved, Siren Beloved, and Siren in Waiting. They all tell their own story but they are all based in the same small town, they all have characters that move in and out of the books and they are all about cowboys. I can tell you this – cowboys should really be in every erotic read because cowboys make everything better. I’m all for cowboys getting along – especially with each other. Also, the recurring theme in all of these is what Sophie Oak calls “Menage Amour”, or three way love, with a side of dominant/submissive sexy time. Yes you must read all five, and they are all fantastic, and did I mention the cowboys?

I should also mention:

  • You have to read erotica with a sense of humour in mind or you may never get off the couch.
  • Cowboys need to be involved during all sexy time everywhere.
  • There is a whole lot of menage going on – all the time. If your neighbour isn’t answering the doorbell? Menage. Your best friend had to cancel your coffee date? MENAGE.
  • Reading dirty books makes you smarter.

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What have you read lately? Anything I need to read??

Dirty Books For The Ladies – What To Read After Fifty Shades

2nd May 2012

So I read Fifty Shades and blogged about it, but then at this point, who hasn’t.

More importantly, look how handsome Christian is:

Dreamy.

Anyway, after much thought, I decided to read other dirty books for research purposes. Ahem.

Someone has to do it.

I’ve also been reading Angie’s blog (she’s an addict, yo) and her posts about her “smut” recommendations gave me some great suggestions on where to start.

Here’s what I’ve read so far:

The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by Anne Rice 

This is a trilogy but I’ve only read the first to date. I refer to this book as “medieval crazy, sexy time naked slavery”.  It’s actually a good read, and very well written – definitely plan to read the other two books in the trilogy. These are considered the high quality erotica for you erotica snobs out there.

Bared to You by Sylvia Day

Bared to You is actually kind of similar to Fifty Shades except that it’s much better written. The main characters are Ava (she’s one thousand times less annoying than Anastasia) and Gideon Cross (yes, another rich hot dude – see photo above) and who doesn’t want to sleep with a rich dude named Gideon, seriously. READ IT.

Comfort Object by Annabel Joseph

This one is DIRTY with a capital D. You’ll need to take breaks where you rub your eyeballs with kittens and rainbows to even out the nasty. It is going to make you squirmy and not in a good way. It’s good but really, really bad. Yes, I am a professional book reviewer – why do you ask?

Caressa’s Knees by Annabel Joseph

This is another book (meant to be read second) that features some of the characters from Comfort Object, however the similarities end there. It’s actually pretty good but not as depraved as Comfort Object. And it features classical music and a cello so it will make you cultured – in a dirty way.

Odalisque by Annabel Joseph

Another book (meant to be read third) featuring some of the characters of the other two books by Annabel Joseph. It’s VERY different from the other two again and it’s crazy time in terms of how far fetched it is in parts but I’m pretty sure that’s a prerequisite in these books. I did enjoy it however.

Mercy by Annabel Joeph

Hated it – it involves a ballerina, and I’m sorry but ballerinas have no place in lady smut. BECAUSE THEY’RE BALLERINAS!!!

Captive by Leda Swann

This should be called BORED TO TEARS because that’s how I felt reading it.

Beautiful Disaster by Jamie McGuire

Seriously, I couldn’t even get through this one. I might try again but if I have to work hard (no pun intended) to get through it, I’m out.

Rock Me by Cherrie Lynn

I actually really liked this one because it’s more story than dirty and it involves tattoo parlours and good girls and who doesn’t love that combination.

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Honestly, books considered lady porn (and please stop calling it mommy porn – mommies can’t claim EVERYTHING) are a quick read, ironically. They take me a day to read and by day, I mean maybe three hours or so. Books tend to be a quick read when there isn’t that much to process – dirty things are happening, turn the page.

Also, something I’ve learned about Erotica books in general:

  • Every single one ends with a happy ending. Every single one.
  • “I’m yours” is in every book and something you should never say to your husband or he’ll expect you to do what he wants.
  • A lot of rich dudes are really sick when it comes to what rocks their socks.
  • If you read too many of these books in a row, you might dream of Thor and how cute your Thor babies will be.

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So while I continue my research, I would love to know if you’ve read any of these? Any suggestions on what I should read next?

Clover Leaf Take 5 Challenge & Giveaway

20th March 2011

Along with four other bloggers, I was invited to participate in the Clover Leaf Take 5 Challenge. I’m a fan of Clover Leaf tuna, and when I found out that Clover Leaf would also be giving away 555 cans of tuna to local food banks during this challenge.  I couldn’t say no. Also, if I can find a way to feed my husband in five minutes – I am IN! I was sent a basket of Clover Leaf products, and additional food items that I would need to make the three recipes – Montuna Cristo sandwich, Speedy Thai Tuna Tacos, and Salsa Tuna Roll-ups – and I decided to make the Tacos and the Roll-ups. The challenge was to see if each 5-ingredient recipe could be made within five minutes – hence the TAKE 5 challenge.

The answer is a big YES! My sister timed the process, and I successfully made both within that time. Not surprisingly, my children were unwilling to try either of the recipes, since they are the pickiest eaters on the planet. So instead, my sister and I tried both recipes, and our favorite was definitely the Speedy Thai Tuna Taco. This was the first time either of us had ever tried the Clover Leaf Spicy Thai Tuna before – we both really loved the recipe.  If you like spicy food, you will enjoy this tuna – it is crazy spicy. We may have added extra sour cream (yum) to cool our mouths off a bit – it was the super winner!

(I should probably mention that I took several pictures, and only one of my photos worked out, which I sadly didn’t noticed until I took the one of the spicy tacos).

The second five minute recipe was the Salsa Tuna Roll-ups. They were also delicious, although not as adventurous as the spicy thai tacos. Since there were only two of us, we just divided the filling into two of the flour tortillas, which actually worked out better I think.

GIVEAWAY!!

Clover Leaf has provided me with an additional gift basket to give away to one lucky reader!!

Each basket will include:

  • A Paderno knife
  • Small bamboo cutting board
  • Set of measuring spoons
  • Silicon spatula
  • $50 Visa Gift Card
  • Various Clover Leaf product (not exactly as pictured)

 

MANDATORY ENTRY:

Please go check out the Clover Leaf site and leave me a comment below, letting me know which 5 minute recipe (other than those mentioned here) you would like to try out! That’s it!

  • You may enter ONCE a day!
  • OPEN to Canadian Residents
  • Giveaway ends APRIL 11, 2011
  • Please make sure to leave a way to contact you!!

 

Disclosure: “Baskets provided by Clover Leaf Seafoods


UPDATE: CONGRATULATIONS to the winner #31 – edmontonjb!!! Thanks to everyone who entered!

DK Canada Cookbooks – Review and Giveaway

2nd March 2011

DK Canada recently sent me some fantastic cookbooks to check out, and knowing that I am a cookbook fiend, I was happy to oblige.

THE COOK’S BOOK

The Cook’s Book – Techniques and tips from the world’s master chefs is a glorious and HUGE (600+ pages) cookbook that is fantastic for new and curious cooks alike. With contributions from chefs like Charlie Trotter and Rick Bayless, this book is a fantastic guide to help the reader become a better cook at home. The cookbook thoroughly explains various cooking techniques, for every section of the cookbook, which I really like since I’m no Martha. I also LOVE that each recipe has it’s own series of photographs that walk you through the recipe and a photo of the final product as well.  “Taking inspiration from hundreds of recipes, including many of the contributing chefs’ signature dishes, you will develop, improve and hone your culinary skills.” This one is a definite winner.

THE EVERYDAY EASY COLLECTION

First off, anything with easy in the title gets my attention. This is a six book series that includes,

  • Cheap Eats
  • Freeze Ahead Meals
  • 30 Minute Dinners
  • One-Pot
  • Cakes and Cupcakes
  • Chicken

Each of these books contain 90 simple-to-follow recipes, with a dedicated photo and symbols that explain servings, nutritional info, special equipment and even freezing instructions. With sections that outline useful techniques, and recipe planners, these cookbooks are perfect for the family cook.

GIVEAWAY!

One lucky winner is going to win the complete 6 book set of Everyday Easy cookbooks!!!

MANDATORY ENTRY:

1. Leave me a comment below telling me about a time you had a cooking DISASTER.

ADDITIONAL OPTIONAL ENTRIES: (Remember to leave a comment for each additional entry)

2. Follow me on Google Friend Connect, or tell me if you do.

3. Follow my blog on Facebook or tell me if you do.

4. Follow me on Twitter and tweet the following:

Enter to win a @DKCanada Everyday Easy Cookbook collection on @BOREDMommy’s blog – http://bit.ly/fYpPLN #Giveaway

Contest ends March 10th, 2011 and is open to all Canadian residents.

GOOD LUCK!!

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CONGRATS!!! #3 – Mel Gallant!! You won the 6 cookbook set!!! Thanks to everyone who entered!

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